There and Back Again

March 20th 
  I'm tired this morning-- I have been tired the last few days, which doesn't make sense, because the last few nights I’ve been going to bed around 8:30 pm. I shouldn’t be tired after this much sleep! BUT every morning, someone’s alarm goes off at 4:30 and then all of my roommates start getting up early. This kind of drives me nuts—I mean---I know they have things to do—but maybe they could better budget their time during the day so they don’t have to wake everyone up so early!? Maybe? Please? Anyway, I have acquired a full-blown head cold. Lots of post nasal drip, congestion, coughing, sneezing, headache and fever. I love being sick, I really do. I’ve become so accustomed to it that I can’t even remember what it’s like not to be sick. Although, my stomach is completely better. I can eat almost anything now. I haven’t had a stomach ache in 3 whole days! This is good---at least I can eat and be sick—before it was be sick and don’t eat. UHG! 
  Tomorrow morning around 2 am, I’m leaving to catch a flight to Iquitos. Iquitos is in the jungle and I’m pretty excited about getting to see a jungle. I hear it is extremely hot and humid there with lots of fun bugs and piranhas in the Amazon. As far as I know, we are going on a bit of a boat trip on the Amazon river, which is pretty cool. The boats are more like canoes to be honest with you. 
Here are a couple pictures and a fun video of some of the tribes along the Amazon River. We will be doing some street ministries with the kids using worship and dramas. I’m honestly not sure what to expect; but I’m excited. Pray that we are able to reach these people for the Lord through music and Drama and simply by sharing the love of Christ. The Bible says that His words do not return void. Also pray for my health as it is easy to catch bacteria in the area that we are going to. I will have to be very careful of what I eat and the clothes that I wear while the mosquitoes are out. Go figure: mosquitoes in Iquitos! Hehe. It rhymes. :P

I don't really think This is what we will be doing or what we will see...but you never know!







Hope you enjoyed!

-Mel

Just a super intense Video about the tribulation times and rapture. Some of it is a bit over done--but God's wrath is not a joke and neither is His grace.

    You know me well enough by now. I like the internet and am fascinated in all of the media opportunities that are available on the internet. I recently heard someone say that the amount of information exchanged on the internet each day far exceeds the entire history of man. Wow! What a tool we have in our hands! Unfortunately it’s used for a lot of things are completely unwholesome—but there are so many ways to use the internet to bring Glory to God and to share the gospel. For example—I personally like to write—which means that one day, I’d love to publish books…the issue is money—but most of all time. It’s easy to type out a devotional or a short little update about my life with pictures and that sort of media from my own home—sometimes before I even get out of bed… Who wants to go down to the local studio or publishing company and pay big bucks to get something that you can do in your own home?! Well, I’m really not THAT technology savvy, but I do like to play around with it and try new things out. I recently joined an online small group with Christ Fellowship. It was pretty sweet actually. They did a live broadcast from A pastor’s house and had a live chat room next to the broadcasting window. I thought that was pretty neat. So I checked out the website and it turns out that you can get a free broadcasting account with these people and actually have a fairly decent range of options and you can do some perty nifty stuff on this thing. I’ve always wanted to do a video blog---but I think I’ll have to wait until I get home to get everything started. Yeah, I signed up for one—just to kind of play around with it. 
  Anyway, since this is indeed my medical journal, perhaps I can update you a little bit. The last couple days, my stomach has been feeling better and so I’ve started eating again—but only small portions and very mild things (i.e. nor fruits, veggies or milk products per Dr. Parra.) but my stomach has been taking these basic things alright. I still hate the idea of eating food. I’ve just gotten so used to not eating..but I’m kind of getting desperate for something that tastes good now. But my tiredness and weakness is still a bit of an issue. It’s literally like somebody randomly pulls the plug on my energy and it all just goes down the drain and then suddenly I’m so weak I can’t stand up or stay awake—weird, annoying, UHG! But I was up all night last night with a sore throat and a headache—and now I’m congested. Can’t wait to see what other Amazon diseases I’ll be picking up next week while I’m in the jungle. Woohoo! *sarcasm* 
  Well, breakfast is about to be called and I have to take my meds before I eat….that takes a while since they taste like nail polish remover! 

-Melissa

Just listened to this on my ipod....it's pretty convicting. 

Benediction- Kimmy Needham

No one is good not even one 

The front pages of papers of children raped by rapist 
Iraqi torture chambers and we to blame claim we're blameless 
Wrong all
And swelling up inside of us there's this pride in us this arrogance
And our only line of defense is the sense that 
Im not as half as bad as this friend of mine so I must be fine
We mean well don't we 
Yet I've never seen good intentions set a man free from
Hurt all 
This poor unfortunate soul 
Filling a single void with toy after toy with girl after boy
How boring this wasn't this meant to be Humanity's life story
Warring with Good saying what have you done for me
Bought all
Hanging out for six hours marred beyond recognition 
In complete submission to his father will still
A proclamation was made louder than the loudest temptation 
With more beauty than all his creation 
More eternal than eternity more angelic than the heavenlies 
It Is done for you and bought with blood
Accept
Rejoice 
For freedom has come

  WARNING: BAD GRAMMAR, AND VENTING. Reader discretion advised. 

         I’m convinced that bipolar is a personality---which is why I’m convinced that I’ve got it woven throughout my DNA. I think everyone has this….it’s something that we can choose to yield to or to surrender to the Lord. At one moment I’m happy and ‘overwhelmed’ by the Lord, and then the next moment—I feel like I’ve been shoved to the ground and there isn’t a way to get up. I just want to be real. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m perfect. I’m going to be honest with what I struggle with---because I’m a human being and I have struggles. I get angry and I get fed up! In fact, right now, that’s exactly how I’m feeling….but in two ways that don’t even make sense to me. Half of me is angry that I’m sick and that I keep missing out---that people continue to look past me because I am too weak. It’s true…I’m too weak to walk from one side of campus to the next sometimes. I hate that! But at the same time….the other half of me is angry that the other half won’t just yield to the Lord and be teachable. I’m angry that the decision is so big and so hard! Why can’t it be easy! I know what I have to do…I know how to do it---- I don’t have an excuse—I guess I just have to learn things the hard way in order to get the point. I’ve always been that way. Although spankings and getting grounded never did anything for me….but this is different. I’m lonely, frustrated, angry, impatient, anxious, desperate…. I can totally keep going. I really wish that there was a little privacy around here so that I could just take care of my problem without anyone knowing there was something wrong. But maybe that’s what I need to be broken of…relying on myself for healing and fixing. It’s not going to work that way! 
        I’m a puppet to my emotions….it’s true. I wish it wasn’t such a battle---but I’m just struggling with being good enough. Now that I understand grace---now it’s a matter of accepting it and living life freely. I’m a slave to the wrong being. I’m a slave to my flesh and I’m incredibly weak. Temptation stands at the foot of my bed at night and creeps behind me during the day. I wish I had a pair of spiritual blinders. I don’t want you to think that I’m backsliding…because I am not. I’m growing…there are just some things that have been brought to my attention that need to be surrendered and fixed by the only one who can fix me---and that overwhelms me. I wish I was a good person. There isn’t a sin that I’ve been addicted to in the past that I’m not still struggling with…some are easier than others but some just wear my mind and my heart raw to the point where I can’t even fight back anymore. I hate giving up. I want to be strong---but I don’t know how to not give in sometimes. I hate myself sometimes for these things. 
 I really just needed to vent. I know what my issue is. And it’s up to me to take the first step and to submit it to the Lord. But I forget how to break….i forget how to give it up. I forget how to take the back seat. I really wish I could say that I was a good person. I really do. I don’t know if I will ever be content with the way that my heart has made me. I’ve read all the Bible verses and I’ve hear all the sermons I can take. It’s up to me now. I’ve heard all the good quotes and I’ve been prayed over enough times..that it should be obvious that it’s up to me to SIMPLY yield.  
           I’m ready to find a field somewhere where the grass is taller than me so I can lay down in the middle of it and cry and scream and say everything that I need to and just be in the presence of God. I have to many distractions—chuck tracks here, projects there, papers to write, clothes to fold, rooms to clean, meetings to attend, classes to listen to, people to please, my heart to maintain, my mask to keep glued to my face….i can’t afford the expensive mask--- only the stuff that melts off quickly. I’m constantly patching it up or forgetting who I’m supposed to be in front of these people and those people. There shouldn’t be a difference who the people are. I should be me. I should be the person that the Lord intended me to be—not whoever I can pretend to be. I want to be that person that serves the Lord with gladness. I want to be changed. Really. I don’t need a talking to. If you can do anything—just pray. No need to even say that you are praying for me. I know you are. This is between me and the Lord now. Thankyou for everything that you’ve said. Really, I needed to hear it. But this can’t be patched with a good verse here and a good verse there. This problem needs to totally be broken down and it will be. I garuntee it. Please don’t worry about me. I’m going to be fine. The Lord just has some major filing to do. He’s got a lot of pieces that he needs to find an put back together for me. I’m wandering around in a dark room---I’m never going to be able to find all the pieces I need. I 'm getting to the point of being ready for that burden that's  light and yoke that's easy. 


-mel

             Well, I am sitting outside my dorm room right now. I’m waiting for a few songs to download from the iTunes store and then I will be heading off to bed. These last few days have been tiring…although…I am eating a little bit more, but my stomach still totally rejects the idea of food. I got my test results back a couple days ago from the lab and Yesterday morning….I got up SUPER early to make my way to the doctor to sit in line for over an hour waiting to make an appointment… we were unable to make an appointment..they told us to come back after a few hours and just wait to get a turn to see the doctor. The medical business here…is for monkeys….seriously…totally unorganized….they send you to 14 different desks to ask 14 different times to see 1 doctor and then after all that you come to the appointment maker and they tell you that there are no appointments available…lots of nonsense…let me tell you. But anyway…we got in to see the doctor…and I have cancer and malaria….I’m kidding…but we really aren’t 100% sure what I have…since the fecal and blood tests all came back negative. Anything significant was that my white blood cell count was low…which means I have some kind of infection somewhere…but anyway…the doc diagnosed me with a viral infection. There are no medications for this—I just need to wait everything out. But I am on medications for my stomach and possible parasites….this was a good diagnosis for my roommate..since she has parasites…I probably do too which is why I am on meds for it just in case that is what is causing the problem. But now that someone on campus has been diagnosed with parasites…than anyone else with a stomachache (which is basically everyone) gets to go get medicine from the pharmacy to get healed…we paid the 80 bucks for the diagnosis…they paid 5 bucks for the meds…LUCKY! The doc also said that the viral infection would explain all of my weird fainting spells and dizziness and random weakness. He said it could last for a while….and depending on the person it could be gone in a week or it may take months to completely be out of my system. That is why every day and every moment is different and I really don’t know what to expect with this thing. The only thing that is for sure is that I can only eat bread…no goodies…no chocolate—no mac n cheese….no yummy Peruvian food…just pita bread and rice…I’ve tried hard boiled eggs and those seem to do alright…but that’s about it. 
           The other night, I did have an incredible experience with the Lord. I’ve spent nearly my entire walk with the Lord, just believing and hoping for some kind of understanding or moment that I could mark as life-changing. Well, coming to Peru was obviously life-changing…but the other night…was definitely the biggest moment in my faith thus far. The Lord really used Daniel to teach me about grace. I have lived my entire life thinking that I needed to earn love from people. I knew in my head that I didn’t have to earn God’s love or grace…but I didn’t know in my heart. I have built up so many walls that have kept me from really being loved and used by the Lord. I really wish I could say that I am a truly righteous person and that I am a good Christian—but really, I’m not. It took Daniel about two hours to finally get through to me. He was telling me about grace and I was trying so hard to block him out because everything that he said, I had heard before. Lord, tell me something new. Give me a sign or SOMETHING! The Lord answered my prayer with a story that Daniel told me. He said: Imagine yourself in a court room and God is the judge. He sees all of the things that you’ve done and is ready to pour out his wrath on you—because he is a just God. Justice for my sin is eternal damnation…fiery sulfur in the pit of hell—that’s what I deserve. But just as the gavel is about to smack down on the Slab—GUILTY! Jesus steps in front of me. “Wait father! This one is mine. I”ve done these horrible things. I’m ready to take the punishment. Melissa, you can go.” When Daniel finished telling me this, I was already in tears. This story had totally taken a hold of my heart. Because my imagination is as vivid as it is—I felt like everything was real as he was saying it and it was as if I had just experienced it. It became real to me. Since then, the last two mornings, I have woken up with a new attitude and I really feel as if my heart could explode. I’m ready to hear what the Lord has for me. If this is all that I came to Peru for, then this is enough. Understanding grace and understanding love are the keys to life! God is love..so if we have not love than we have not God and with no God, there is no life! 
Lyrics that mean so much more to me know: Matt Redman’s I will love you for the cross:

I will love you for the cross
And I will love you for the cost
Man of sufferings
Bringer of my peace

You came into a world of shame
And paid the price we could not pay
Death that brought me life
Blood that brought me home
Death that brought me life
Blood that brought me home

Chorus:
And I love you for the cross
I'm overwhelmed by the mystery
I love you for the cost
That Jesus you would do this for me

When you were broken, you were beaten, 
You were punished, I go free
You were wounded and rejected
In your mercy - I am healed

Jesus Christ the sinners friend
Does this kindness know no bounds
With your precious blood you have purchased me

Oh the mystery of the cross
You were punished you were crushed
But that punishment has become my peace
Yes that punishment has become my peace

Chorus

By your wounds I am healed

For the cross, for the cross, for the cross I thank you
Oh Lord, for the cross, for the cross



This song really speaks to me because every line in this song is so true. If we don’t understand what he did on the cross for us, then what good is our faith. We will be laboring in vain and wearing ourselves out trying to earn something that was bought for us. It’s almost as if I received this gift from a king. I knew what the gift was but I didn’t understand what to do with it. I left it wrapped and then finally—the king comes and unwraps it for me and eliminates my fear. He explains that it is given to me because he loves me. I do not deserve his love, but I have his love. Now it’s just a matter of what I am going to do with it. Am I going to take advantage of his love and grace or am I going to pass this gift on to someone else? The Lord is healing me—mainly my heart because it’s in a million and twenty pieces. He is the great physician and I believe in a great healing. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM!


-melissa

P.S. we have decided to call it the oh maybe disease.... Person: Do you have a parasite? Me: Oh maybe, person: Are you feeling better today? Me: Oh maybe, Person: do you have cancer or malaria? Me: Oh, maybe. HA!

Well, today was interesting. I don’t remember this morning at all. Anything that I don’t remember will be filled in by what others have told me. So, this morning I woke up around 6:30. Of course, it was the bathroom calling that got me up out of bed—but I did have to wake up around that time to make it to another doctor’s appointment today. I had to be at the lab at 7:30 this morning to get some blood taken—I’ve never had this done before and I hate needles so I was pretty much freaking out. Anyway, my roommate is suffering from the same thing that I am…except…I’ve had it for going on six weeks—so we both went to the lab together… she had Darci to hold her hand…I had Daniel  Side note: I’m thinking about changing this blog into my personal medical journal—since that seems to be the theme of just about every blog entry. But I suppose it is in to be reading about other people’s problems…isn’t that what we buy magazines for? This is free. Hehe. Anyway, back to the story. I woke up and my stomach was killing me—I really didn’t want to walk all the way there because I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom if I needed to run—plus I was fasted and really weak since, my food intake over the last month or so has been basically bread and rice—but only sometimes. I can’t really keep anything in my tummy. Another side note: I went to the hospital yesterday to see a stomach specialist. He thinks I have a parasite or something that travelers get where the stomach stops working because it doesn’t know how to adjust to the food and the environment. I spent a few hours there. That was fun. Anyway, So this morning I had to go to the lab to get blood drawn so they could run a bunch of tests. I HATE needles, BTW. Darci got to stay with Rachel, but Daniel wasn’t allowed to stay with me—I think it is up to the nurse that is stealing the blood. Well, when people say it doesn’t hurt—they lie!!! Uhg! That needle was ginormous! It hurt! But I didn’t cry. After she pulled the needle out I felt kind of funny, so I sat there for a minute. Then I got up and walked back out into the lobby. We were about to walk out and that’s when my vision started going. Everything was going black, so I sat down and tried to get myself together…but (from this point on…..the story is told with info that I got from other people) my eyes started rolling and I couldn’t stay awake. So they helped me into a taxi and I kept fainting and what not. When we got back to the school I was helped out of the taxi and to the couch just inside the school. Then it was downhill from there. I was in and out of consciousness. I wasn’t coherent for quite a while. The only thing that I do remember is Daniel snapping at me and telling me to say my ABC’s. I think he went to get me a Gatorade or something. Then Alfredo came over and tried to help Daniel wake me up. After that, Alfredo and Daniel carried me up to my room and when I woke up an hour later…there were a bunch of people standing around me…it kinda freaked me out. I’m not gonna lie. Anyway, now that that is over…. I think I am starting to get my strength back…lots of hydrating and I’m trying to eat—but my stomach is still really sensitive to whatever I eat. But after Thursday when I finish my last test (hopefully) the next Doctor’s visit will tell me what is wrong with me and hopefully he will make me better! Then I will be able to eat again! Yay!
  Well, that is my sad story. The funny part is…I love the questions, “how do you feel?” and “what happened this morning?” LOL! I don’t remember what happened this morning and I don’t feel any better…just the same or worse than yesterday! Ha! What an interesting day. I’m not in a bad mood or anything—just tired and weak…okay okay…ready for the line of the day? I’m very sick and tired of being very sick and tired. Anyway…just letting you all in on my life here on campus. It’s basically sleeping and class..then HW and more sleeping and class. BUT my parents and I have been discussing the possibility of them coming down sometime around the end of this month…WHICH WOULD BE AWESOME! Alright…this is enough  Hope you enjoyed eavesdropping on my life :P 

Melissa

Well, the last week, my stomach had really started to cooperate; but yesterday, I was bogged down with a headache and fever all day. And now, I have the same stomach problem that I originally had. UHG! If someone would like to ship me a new stomach and pay for its installation, I would greatly appreciate it. I think I’m really learning about patience and being humble though. I just read something one of my required reading text books that really got me thinking. It was talking about Paul and the thorn he had in his side. It stated that Paul begged the Lord to remove it, so that he could go on with his ministry to the gentiles, but the Lord refused to remove it because it kept him humble. My response to this was, well who is to say that this thorn in his side wasn’t a perpetual stomach ache? I hope and pray that this isn’t something that I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. Of course, after nearly a month and a half, it’s starting to feel like I’m going to suffer from this for eternity. Sometimes my reaction is, “Oh Jesus! Take me home to be with you, so that I can have that new body—yeah the one that doesn’t have any problems like what I am struggling with now!” But honestly, what would life be if we didn’t have any troubles or struggles? If there were never any problems, than we wouldn’t need Jesus. This eternal happiness and kingdom of bliss, often referred to as heaven, would no longer be a desire or a hope of mine. Heaven would be where I am now, because I wouldn’t have any problems! Thank God for problems though. They remind us that we are not in control and that we really do need Jesus!
Today I was supposed to go to Ventanilla, my ministry, but my stomach issue today, has again prevented me from going. But it also allows me to catch up on some reading, lots of hw and the writing of a paper that is due next week (yeah-the one I’ve been avoiding all semester—hehe) Anyway, today is a day of homework and blogging and reading and writing—thank God for no arithmetic though :P I hate math—but that is beside the point since this is a BIBLE COLLEGE! 
  In a couple weeks I am going to Iquitos, Peru. That is a two-hour plane ride North-East of Lima. It’s right in the middle of the jungle to. I’m pretty excited. There are a few students that attend the College that are from Iquitos and have warned us about INTERESTING food selections. LoL. I’m not sure of which I will be partaking, but I sure have to be careful. I just might have to pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to last me the week that I am there. 
  The last couple nights, Daniel and I have been practicing our Spanish together. We will have our conversations entirely in Spanish, unless I don’t understand—then I interpret them and learn some new vocabulary. I really am doing very well with my Spanish. A couple of weeks ago, I did get very discourages. “Oh, I’m never going to learn this Language!” But at the same time I didn’t give up – that’s a little bit of my JO MARCH coming out.
  I think this is a good enough update for now. I really need to get back to my paper writing; but this was a pleasant distraction. Hopefully it will not be the last distraction for today, though. Hehe.

Well, this first week was full of adventure. I attended all 3! of my classes and I loved them. There is so much great information—I can’t take enough notes! Monday afternoon I went to the Magdalena Market to buy a watch---since I don’t have a cell phone here and I ALWAYS need to know the time. I have a schedule to keep! The chores and rules here are great. They are teaching me a lot about self-discipline and respect for others. I’m learning how to make my bed every day before I even get out of bed. I’m learning to fold my laundry the moment it comes out of the dryer and especially how to manage my time. So, Mom and GM—if you weren’t pleased with my decision to come here before—that is a good reason  
 I’m making a lot of friends here. There are only a few students, so we are all pretty close. Not everyone speaks each others languages, but we still pray for each other in our own tongue. It’s great being able to mingle and relate to other people from other cultures. There are students from Germany, England, Peru, Honduras, Columbia and the US here. We really are a very interesting and talented group all here learning about and growing in the Lord and just living life together. There is always a sense of encouragement here. Even if the work load get’s us down—there is always someone around to remind us to cheer up. 
 You are all asking about Daniel and I. We are doing great. We are still adjusting to the atmosphere—as it is a little different and somewhat stricter than back home. But this is our home for now and we must abide by the rules. We sit across the table from each other every day and have our chats and laughs together. We exchange letters on a daily basis and I have quite the collection already  It has been great having him around to encourage me and point me to the Lord as I continue to adjust to the culture here. 
 On Saturday, in the morning, John Bonner took the entire student body to two museums. One was for the Spanish inquisition took place—like actual torture chambers! And then to the catacombs located underneath a monestary—we got to see a ridiculous amount of human remains!!! Craziness! It really opened up my eyes to what the true Christians really struggled with. It made me question my own faith in the sense of—if I were to be forced to change my religion or tortured and killed for what I believe, what would be my choice? It’s easy to say—well, yes. Of course I would give my life for Christ—but seeing the methods of torture and murder I almost wondered if I would have been able to endure that along with the earlier Christians. I guess I would have to be in the situation to really know the answer to that, but I would like to think that no matter what, I could stand up for Christ because he stood up for me. 
  Later on Saturday, I went to the ministry at Ventinilla and Pachakutec. This is an extremely poor area about 45 minutes to an hour away via bus. The bus ride was a little rough—I thought I was going to be sick—but I made it. There were only 5 of us that went to this ministry. We played soccer with the local kids and took lots of pictures. They looooove the camera! The second location is in the foothills. These are basically huge piles of dirt that people live on. The housing there does not have running water or any kind of plumbing. Everyone there lives in a shack—some even without roofs. It is pretty sad, but the people all seem peaceful and happy. The kids are great. We got to roll around in the dirt with them for hours. We took tons of pictures there and taught a Bible lesson. It really opened my eyes up—especially to the idea that I don’t need anything but Jesus to be happy. He is all I need. 
 Sunday I attended the Spanish service. I don’t understand a whole lot—but I will soon. I get to sing praise in worship in another language and still worship the Lord even though I don’t always understand. Sunday night we have something called believers night. This is a Spanish and English service. Some songs are in Spanish, some are English and the sermon is either translated from Spanish to English or from English to Spanish depending on the speaker and what language they are teaching in. It’s a pretty neat experience to be able to worship with another culture. I like their remixes of all the English tunes—they add in some sweet rhythms and chords.
 During believer’s night, I wasn’t really feeling well. So, the moment that it ended I caught a taxi back to the college so I could lie down. I went to sleep early but around midnight I woke up throwing up and sat on the bathroom floor until 11 in the morning. I was throwing my guts up all night with a high fever and all the other horrible stuff that you could imagine that comes with a sickness like that. I don’t know if I caught a virus, got an infection or if I simply ate something that didn’t agree with my stomach. I don’t know that I have ever been that sick in my entire life. But everyone on campus came to check up on me every few minutes and they all wanted to make sure that I was okay. Many of them laid hands on me and prayed for me—even in Spanish (since she doesn’t speak any English). I couldn’t move because I was in so much pain and so incredibly weak. I hogged the bathroom for a good 12 hours and took several naps throughout the day. I didn’t eat anything but I had a decent amount of water. By the end of the day, I was able to walk down stairs to sit at the tables and get some fresh air. I looked like a wreck but I honestly didn’t care. Oh, P.S. you know how I’m always bragging about Daniel? Well, he brought me a rose with a little note. I couldn’t find a vase so I used an empty glass coke bottle as the vase. I’ll post some pictures of it along with all of the other pictures that I’m telling you about. 
 Today, I’m feeling much better. I ate some bread for breakfast and I drank some sprite zero and a few sips of Gatorade. I’m already caught up from the class that I missed yesterday  but my ipod stopped working today, so, I had one of the tech guys look at it and it’s totally dead. I have no idea why. I haven’t dropped it or anything—it worked fine yesterday, but today it just wouldn’t turn on  Anyway, I’m having a great time here. I’m learning a lot and I’m loving South America.
 Please keep my health in your prayers: I’m struggling with lots of stomach issues. I miss all of you and I can’t wait to see all of you again—but I can wait. It is so great here! I love all of you and I’m sorry about not keeping in contact. The internet has not been working since I got to campus, so when it is back up—know that I would love to talk! 

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 Okay…so 3 weeks later…. We finally have our internet working again. It’s been out for going on 4 weeks now. Although…I have learned a lot while the internet has been out. Since it’s been on—I haven’t had to be on it every single second…which is such a good feeling. I’m not addicted to facebook anymore but I am excited to be able to connect with veryone back home again. 
 I’m so sorry it has taken so long to get this thing up and running. I miss blogging and hopefully now I will be able to do more often now! Yay ! Well, let’s get to the good stuff. I’m still struggling with some stomach issues..but I don’t think it has anything to do with the flu anymore….P.s. I totally passed the flu on to the rest of this campus…very few people have NOT been infected. BUT, since everyone is having stomach issues—the school decided it would be good to check the water that we are drinking. It is supposed to be safe to drink…BUT the filter was bad and mud was found on the bottom of our water tank….EW!!! So, we all basically have bacterial infections and parasites (Fredrika-for those of you who remember mexico parasites.) So, the talk of the month is of course, poop. That’s really all anyone talks about. Oh, and the fact that our diet consists of rice, fruit, bread, rice, rice, bread, rice, bread, bread, rice and a scoop of fruit. We do have an amazing cook though! 
 Two weekends ago, all the students were bussed over to an orphanage in chuclacayo(sp). On the first night, we did some babysitting for the two couples that are working on running the orphanage so they could go out on a date night. They had fun and so did we. The next morning, we slept in a little bit, had a delicious breakfast and some worship and devo time. Then—it was time for the slave drivers to get started. We did everything from sorting out the house, scrubbing ceilings and walls, building a sandbox, burning debris, building a garden, and moving huge piles of dirt from one spot to another. We all had great fun—despite the strange bug bites we all received and are still suffering from.
 This last week, we had a break from our normal classes. Normally, on Mondays, I take a Romans class, on Wednesdays, I take a Genesis class, on Thursdays, I take a Life of David class, and Tuesdays and Fridays I have off. But this past week we had a guest speaker come in and talk about relationships and passion vs. Purity. He really is amazing. Google Thomas Shockey. This next week is back to normal classes—which means I need to get working on those papers that are coming up. Hehe. 
 The ministry that I participate in is in ventanilla and pachacutec. These places are about an hour and 15 minute bus ride away. Ventanilla isn’t as poor as the latter but there is a Calvary chapel there. We typically go over to the local park and gather a bunch of kids together and play games for a while. Then we take them over to the church and give a Sunday school lesson. After we are finished at Ventanilla—we head over to Pachacutec which is a another bus ride—but only like 10 minutes. This town is incredibly poor. It is right on the coast on the foothills of the mountains ( basically big piles of dirt.) People live in boxes and shed-like places. Some with make-shift walls and roofs. The children here are so loving. We got off the bus and almost immediately they crept down the foothills and started hanging all over us. It was great. We got to roll around in the dirt with them and then we did a Bible study with them in the orphanage there. Sorry about the horrible grammar. There is just so much to tell and I don’t have too much time to correct this. This one will just have to be a little messy. 
 Hmm…what else is there to tell!! Oh So much! I don’t even know where to start! Oh yes, Tomorrow is my birthday and I will officially-----no longer-------be a teenager!! Dang…I feel old now :P I received my birthday box from my mom in the mail two days ago. Lots of sugary goodness, some Cute-durable flip flops and tons of letters from home!! I loved it!! 
 I’m praying about going to the jungle for ten days at the end of march. Iguitos is a town north east of lima. It’s a 2 hour plane ride away and then a few hour boat ride….lots of crazy bugs, I hear. Anyway, keep me in your prayers and send some letters! I would love to find letters in my mail box. Let me know if you need the address! I would be happy to give it out. Have a great day. Thanks for reading!
-Mel

Unfortunately, the last few days, the internet has been down, here in Peru. But fortunately, it is back up—at least for now. My first day was rather rough. I was awake for about 32 hours straight because I couldn’t sleep on the plane. Once I arrived on campus, one of the guys from the school carried my bags up the stairs for me and dropped me off at my room: 33. I’m rooming with one girl that doesn’t speak any English and one bilingual girl. So it is pretty even; but we live in a suite so there are 4 other girls in the room next to us. That means that there is only one toilet and one shower for all 7 of us. (P.S. the toilet almost never works.) We cannot flush toilet paper either. So, we put all dirty toilet paper into a trash can that needs to be emptied once a day. 
 The first night that I was on campus a group of us went into town. We took a taxi over to a burger king that was about a 15 minute ride away—then we walked over to this sketchy bowling alley where we were going to bowl. (Rumor is: the alley is owned by a gang.)But it was closed because someone forgot to pay rent. So we decided to walk a few blocks over to the cliffs. This is right on the water. Part of the cliff is cut out and an outdoor mall sits nicely right in between the cliffs. After all of this, we walked about half way back to the burger king and caught a taxi back to campus. 
 The next morning was Sunday. I woke up early and ate breakfast and had some time with the Lord. Then a big group of us walked to church. This church is about a 20 minute walk from the campus and it is totally in Spanish. It was a great message all about the image of God from John’s account in Revelation and Isaiah. On the way home I stopped at the Bodega and Metro (grocery store and super store) to pick up some things like a mirror and some laundry soap. We had tacos for lunch. They were pretty tasty. 
 This morning I woke up nice and early for breakfast and the morning student devotion. This is where every student shares about what the Lord is doing in their lives twice/semester. A few minutes after that my first class started: a verse by verse study on the book of Romans. The class is 3 ¼ hours long with a 20 minute break in the middle. That is a long class---but we only made it through verse 10 in 3 hours because there is so much information!! It was a really great class. After class we had some lunch-rice and beef and veggies and fresh squeezed fruit juice and fries—yumm!! They aren’t starving us here. And now, I’m sitting in the laundry room on Laundry duty. This is my twice a week chore. It’s not so bad. I basically help people do their laundry and sit here on the computer for three hours twice a week. It’s not so bad. 
 Hopefully I’ll be able to upload some pictures and such in the next couple of hours. Thanks for reading! I’ll be sure to keep everyone updated as the internet and time allows! Keep the prayers coming!
-Melissa

Friends & Family,
 Our trip to Maine was an adventurous one. One of the most popular questions was, “ Ellen/Melissa, where are we?” Yes, despite the several maps and GPS systems that we have, we still had trouble navigating and staying on track. The biggest oops turn was back in Richmond, VA on the third day of our trip. The GPS system was trying to help us avoid driving on I-95 through Washington, D.C., but it ended up redirecting us up around the Great Lakes, through Canada and back down to Maine. We didn’t realize this until we started seeing signs for cities in Ohio. At that point we figured it would be a good idea to zoom out on the GPS and figure out exactly where it was taking us. We did want to cross the border into Canada at some point on this trip, but not there. This set us back a few hours in our trip which forced us to get caught in a snow storm. I would call it a mild blizzard. At some points there was almost no visibility. The roads were frozen and completely covered in snow. Once we got back to I-95, there were no lane markings. We basically had to make up a lane right down the middle of the highway. We were expecting to get 6 inches of snow in this storm but we only got about 2 inches. Since we were late, instead of driving all the rest of the way to Maine, we stopped in Connecticut at a Super 8 motel. 
 That night we slept in jeans and sweaters and socks. The next morning we awoke to the aftermath of the storm. The entire car was a block of ice and snow. We had to chip all the ice off with our hands until a nice lady let us borrow her ice scraper. From that point on, as far as we knew, the washer fluid from the car was not spraying---so every few minutes we were forced to pull the car over and scrub down the windows. There were several times that the driver’s visibility was so non-existent that the passenger was directing the driver to the next exit. It was pretty scary at some points----just cousinly bonding, I suppose. That day we drove up to Kittery, Maine and took a few pictures of the coast from someone’s backyard. Then we headed back down south to Boston. We would have driven up through Belfast, Lubec and hit up Canada at some point, but the storm set us back too far. At least we hit Maine!
  We made it to Boston that night just before sunset. But the roads were so confusing and parking was so expensive that we just drove around for a bit and headed to our hotel just outside the city. It turned out to be a really nice hotel. We would have slept well if it weren’t for the dinner that we ate that night. Next to the hotel was an “On the Border” Mexican cuisine---it was delicious---but the problem with that was that we really hadn’t eaten much of anything for the previous days in the car, so Mexican probably shouldn’t have been the first thing to hit our tummies. I was alright after a while, but Ellen felt it for a couple days. 
  The next morning we got up early and headed to Gillette, NJ, which is the town that Ellen’s Aunt and Uncle live in. They gladly welcomed us into their beautiful home, cooked us grilled cheese for lunch and treated us to a beautiful Italian dinner at a nice restaurant. After dinner, Aunt Robin, took Ellen and I back to the house, while Uncle Chic went to a board meeting. We watched the movie Mama Mia! Which was fantastic and then we hit the pillows. 
  The next morning we also got up early and Aunt Robin dropped us off at the New Jersey transit, Gillette train station, that we took to New York City. Once arriving in NYC, we hit up the first McDonald’s for a quick breakfast before trekking around the city all day. 
  Our first experience was riding the express elevator all the way to the top of the Empire State building. We took some pictures and headed back down—It was freezing up there! Grand Central Station was next, then Times Square, and Central Park. We got on the subway and headed down all the way downtown to Battery Park and to catch a glimpse of Ground Zero, where the twin towers used to stand. We were getting hungry, so we asked a local to suggest a good place for some NY Pizza. He recommended a place called Picasso’s Pizzeria just down the road. It was yummy---expensive! But yummy! We made our way to the coast and were able to see the Statue of Liberty out in the distance. Then we caught the subway back to times square---snapped a few picture of it as it was getting dark, saw the red stairs and took the subway back to Penn station, where we got on the Southbound train back to Gillette, NJ. 
  This was the unlucky southbound train. Before we exited the tunnel, the hose between the 5th and 6th cars of the train separated and that immediately locks the brakes, so the train came to a hault……we sat crammed in the train in the dark tunnel for over and hour while we waited for a mechanic to come and fix the hose. Our train breakdown held up every other train coming out of NYC and caused delays up to 50 minutes. This hold-up was actually featured on the news. Some lady behind me on the train had access to the internet and was reading the news online and our train situation was all over the news---warning that all trains leaving NYC should expect delays due to our disabled train. We got back to the house a little over an hour after we had originally expected, but we got home nonetheless. 
  The next morning we rolled out of bed at a painful 6:45 am, packed our stuff and got on the road again headed for Washington D.C. Traffic was horrendous, so we parked in a garage for about 20 minutes while we walked to the white house, which was beautifully decorated for the inauguration (complete with over 28,000 chairs), and headed back to the car. The bill for 20 minutes parking was a whopping nineteen dollars!!!!!!UHG! Then we proceeded to make our way to the Washington monument. We drove passed that and decided that all the sightseeing we had left wasn’t worth sitting in the traffic for anymore. So, we hit the road. Ellen took a nap and I decided to drive….for almost 11 hours. I was going for 12 hours…but a nap just sounded to inviting. We decided to drive all the way home from Washington D.C. that night instead of stopping in Savannah, GA. We arrived home that next morning around 6:15 A.M. and slept for the rest of the day.
  Well, now that that trip is over, I am busy packing up boxes and sticking them in the attic. I’m moving out, basically. I leave on January 30th to go to Peru. So I have that much time to become fluent in another language. Hehe. I’m learning and I can’t wait to be able to communicate with people in more than one language. Well, time for breakfast and next stop…LIMA, PERU!
-Melissa

     This morning my alarm started blaring much earlier than I wanted it to. Yes, I had a dentist appointment 45 minutes later, but still—I could have slept all day. Come to think of it, what does it really take to wake me up from spiritual dryness? What kind of alarm has to go off before I actually roll out of bed and touch my feet to the bitterly cold floor of reality? Spirituality and my ‘religion’ should not be fibers that create a bubble separating me from what is real—they should be fibers that form a rope for a game of tug-of-war or one that I can throw over the edge of a cliff to pull someone out—even me. I will say that I am a part of the Christian religion; but unlike other religions—keeping laws and doing good deeds and praying at given times during the day and going to church on Sunday are not my purpose—Although, I do strive to keep these as best as I can. But when I mess up or forget, I do not feel that I have to make it up or do something extra. I do not serve a god that treats me like a slave so he can beat me up every time I make a mistake. I serve a loving God that seeks to free me from my slavery. More than a religion though, I am in a relationship where my God has an unconditional love for me—even though I, His bride, may choose to whore myself to things and ideas and passions that will not satisfy. He still comes to get me—no matter how far gone I may be, He still takes me back.
  This idea is fascinates me. I know that when I have done something to hurt or offend someone—they do not come running after me to say, “Come home, I forgive you.” That is what God does. I have this terrible view of God, though. I seem to think that when I’ve messed up, my job is to run away and hide because He will only be angry—just like people. But God is not a person and his personal tendencies are much different than I could ever know or expect because He is a God not of this world, but of love. 

    In a moment, I will open up my Bible. A moment ago, I watched a video that was promoting a new book about God’s relentless love. The video was that of the author of the book walking along the beach and telling his audience about his view of God’s love and how “crazy” big it is. Well, in my never-ending search to learn more about God’s love—I ordered it. The sad thing is—Why should I have to order a book to tell me about the love of God? Why can’t I always find exactly what I am looking for in the Bible?! Why, when I read the word of God do I search and search and search and still feel like I come up empty? Could it be that maybe I’m looking so hard for something that is right in front of me? 
  Sadly, I do not have many verses memorized; but I do know John 3:16—which tells me that God loved me so much despite how much of a sinner that I am, that he sent His only son to die for me. He did this because He loved me. Because of this, I have a love that will never die. Because of this, I do not have to worry about tomorrow. Because of this, I do not have to be discouraged when I don’t find what I’m looking for every time I open up the word of God. Yes, I search. I don’t always find what I’m looking for, but no matter how dry of season I feel that I am going through, the Lord always reveals some part of himself to me. Maybe what I’m looking for isn’t what I need to find or isn’t what I need to hear. Who am I to tell God what he needs to show me? Don’t I know that he knows best? Maybe my search needs to be for what the Lord wants to show me and not what I think I need to find. 
  The understanding of God’s love will not be found in a book, will not be seen at the movies, will not be found in working hard, and will not be found by making lots of money and donating to charities. Money is not love! It takes time to learn about God’s love. It takes time to accept that God can love people like us. We cannot serve both money and God, who will we chose? Having lots of money is not a sin; but boasting in our wealth is most definitely not glorifying to God. I think that time is so much more valuable than money. Not everyone is financially ‘wealthy’; but everyone has a wealth of time. Remember that good works will not save us, good works are because we are saved.
  

    I often find myself wondering why the Lord doesn’t just send a lightning bolt down to disintegrate my soul. Sometimes I think that even hell would have a hard time putting up with my behavior and wicked thought-life. But why do I do this? Isn’t this what Yahweh sent his only beloved son to die for---my freedom from these ideas and fears? If God had only given me one chance in this life, I would have blown it in my first gasp of air when I entered the world. But before I even knew or cared about second chances….I had millions. I have an infinite amount of chances to trip and fall—and an infinite amount of get-out-of-jail-free cards available to me because My God died for me. My king became a part of His creation that had turned against Him simply to give me as many second chances as I needed. I am not perfect, but I am perfect in the sense that God made me just the way that he intended to—to have weak points and failures and treasures that allow me to exercise my gift/curse of free will—will I choose the gifts or the giver? Will my treasures be stored on earth where moth and rust destroy--- or will they be stored in my heart, heaven and shared through the love that the Lord has given me to share? (Matt. 6:19)
  When I do come across these week points, do I turn and run in fear because I know that I will fail or do I look to the one who I know will rescue me, even if I choose not to trust Him? But why is it necessary that this question arise? If I know that He has all things under His command, If I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, If I know that He will catch me when I fall—then why don’t I just trust him. Is it a lack of belief or is it pride? Either way, I deny that he is capable of doing something significant. Even in the small things—I tend to think that I don’t need Him. No matter what it is, I need to trust in the Lord. Because if I am as confident as I claim to be, then why do I nail Him back on the cross every day? It’s as if to say that he might as well still be in the grave—if I think I can do this on my own. . . No, I don’t wake up every morning and declare to God that I don’t need him, although, sometimes, I might as well. Instead I should make the point to wake up and declare that I need Him. Maybe if I woke up on the right note every morning, my day would cadence nicely in the chorus of His love and grace. 

     I know that it usually takes forever to get an update from me about what is going on in my life. Since August, I have been the Music & Worship Intern at First Baptist Church of West Palm Beach. I started working there just as the Singing Christmas Tree preparation was getting underway. As tedious and challenging as all this work has been, I would not trade it for anything. The performances were all great and we had the chance to minister to over 11,000 people with the show this year. If I am not mistaken, that was the highest attendence in First Baptist's history. 
       Before the Singing Christmas tree rehearsals started in October, I really didn't know anyone. I was fairly new to the church. But working behind the scenes and with the choir members, actors, and dancers, I was able to meet so many incredible people. I really do have a church family that I can truly call my family. I can count on them when I need prayer, or advice, or simply a shoulder. When I am out sick, I recieve phone calls and text messages from pastors and collegues just wishing me well and making sure that I am doing alright. I could never ask for more from a church home. 
        As Palm Beach Atlantic University's semester came to a close, I notified professors and my pastors that I would not be returning next semester. My time at PBAU has been a time of growth, especially in my heart. Over the past few months I have really had the opportunity to discover who I am, and the Lord has brought an immense amount of healing to my heart. 
Since August, I have been talking to a guy that I met at Christ Fellowship a year or so ago. We spent months learning about each other via skype and letters and e-mails. He has been in peru for four months at a Bible college and involved in missions with local outreaches in Lima. He returned to the States in early December, and yes, we are now in a relationship as you can see by my facebook status. :) Our desire is to have a relationship that is centered around the Lord. So far, so good. The Lord continues to bless us. I am truly grateful for Daniel being a part of my life. 
       Well, I do have a reason for not returning to PBAU and my internship next semester. I will be leaving for Calvary Chapel Bible College in Lima, Peru at the end of January. The Lord has given me this opportunity to go, so I am! I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do. I am taking a lot of risks, and I am nervous because this is very much outside of my comfort zone; but I am very excited and encouraged because I know that the Lord has great things planned for me. 
      I am not perfect and I am no different from anyone else. I am just answering the Lord's call in my life. He has closed many doors in the past, but he has opened so many more. I am excited to serve the Lord, bring the message of Jesus Christ to the lonely and hurting in South America; and I am thrilled to meet others that feel the same way when I arrive on campus. I have recently been in contact with one of the girls that will also be attending next semester--she has been throwing a few tips in my direction. (Thanks Holly! :)
      I have a website that I will be using to keep friends and family updated on my travels, ministries and life. I will do my best to keep that up-to-date. But seeing as how I don't know exactly what to expect time-wise, we will see how that all works out :)
Please keep my in your prayers, but mostly pray for the People in South America that the Lord will prepare thier hearts to here of the love and message of Jesus Christ!

-Melissa