There and Back Again

My Super Adventurous Series of Unfortunate Events.

2009-07-04T14:15:00.003-05:00

These are for you, Mom. Happy Birthday. I love you.

This is my get-up: my world -saving, hero-maker, transformer-
Submarine, mustang convertable, Airforce One cruiser.

^ And this is what the floor of MY car currently looks like.

What a week. I’m incredibly stressed. I think college deadlines are much more appealing than looking aimlessly for a job and having a car that’s been broken into, undriveable (due to a shattered window) and a purse that for all I know is in the hands of a terrorist with all of my credit cards, my passport, my social security card and my health insurance card, OH! And my block buster card : ( I’m broke, and I have no way to access my account and I have to wait 7-10 business days to receive all of my new cards. My car needs a new window, so I am barrowing my grandmother’s--- Lincoln—YAY! Such an adolescent beast! I’m grateful for a car to drive, but I like to imagine I’m driving a hot new red mustang convertible down the street instead of a 98 Ford Lincoln. Maybe if it were secretly a transformer that turned me into some world-saving hero it would be a little more exciting. It does what it is supposed to do anyway. Thanks GM.
Today is my mother’s birthday. I think it is fascinating that the world knows it and sets off fire-works every year in her honor. I wish my birthday was on the fourth of July. Last night we all had a giant sleep-over at my parent’s house: The entire family, plus me, Martin and Daniel. It’s nice to have a big house where everyone plus a few guests can fit comfortably. My parents hired Daniel and Martin to do some yard work, so after the long day yesterday, they just slept over so they could get up this morning and get back to work. It was nice, we all got “free” food. Okay economics majors I get it, TINSTAAFL. But, it was free for me, except that I had to butter the bread, cut the squash and zucchini and clean up…it was still cash free! Thanks ma and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Today call time for rehearsal is 4:30. We have a big fourth of July concert tonight at Chapel by the Lake, I’m pretty excited about that. I don’t know that I have much else to blab about, but I hope that this was update enough.

What a great day!

2009-07-01T15:04:00.001-05:00

Two nights ago, I went to over to my parents house to hang out after finding out that I wouldn’t be able to see the movie that we had planned to see that night. My parents were sitting at the table, I was sitting on the floor by the sliding glass door holding one of the cats. My sister walked in the door with Martin a few minutes after I arrived and we were all being ridiculous as usual. My mom walked out of the room and a few minutes later walked back with her purse and asked if I was ready to go. “Ready to go? Go where?” I asked. “Oh no where.” She finally told me that we were going to go see The Proposal after she initially wouldn’t tell me. Well, the movie was hilarious and super great. My mom, my sister and I were probably the loudest people in the entire theater—what can I say---it was funny! Anyway, right before the movie started my mom got a text/phone call saying that my dad and Martin were going to see transformers again and that my little brother and sister would be seeing a different movie. So everyone was there---just in three different theaters---very amusing. After the movie, my mom put in the Kelly Clarkson CD and its rockin’ and so was my mom---she was playing the air drums and at one point we were coming up to a red light and my sister is like, “Mom, hands on the wheel!” And my mom’s response was, “I have to finish drumming!” We were all dancing and making fools of ourselves and being loud. I’m sure we were creeping out the neighboring drivers—WHAT GREAT FUN!
Last night, went on a coffee date with Nicole. We both ordered our Vanilla Chai tea Lattes : ) Mmmmm. We chatted for a good 45 minutes about our lives and our boys, you know the typical girl stuff. Then we got into talking about the things that we are struggling with and what we need prayer for. It really was a time of encouragement. I always have a hard time waiting for the next time I’ll get to hang out with Nicole. She always makes me day :)
Since last Friday, Ellen and I have been working out. We usually go to her house to lift weights or when it is more convenient we meet at my house and do some conditioning/running. It’s been great. I’m already feeling a lot better and healthier. We started talking about the possibility of running in a 5k or two before she leaves for 11 months starting in January. It’s going to be fun, I’m excited.
Last night, I went to bed really discouraged, but this morning I woke up and prayed that the Lord would take my attitude and fix it for me and that he would just encourage me throughout the day. Well, he did. I made lunch and took it over to Wellington Christian for Daniel. He was working there for a few hours today so, we ate together and that was really nice. We had turkey and cheese sandwiches and some Sandies cookies. Afterwards I drove around for a little bit looking for a job. I drove through two or three plazas and didn’t see anything and then I went over to Kobosko’s Plaza where the Greenberries used to be. There is another coffee shop in there that is really nice. I walked around the plaza and went into all the places that would interest me and collected some business cards. One of the shops there was a bridal Salon, so I went in and looked around at the dresses, which were beautiful if I might add! My last stop was the coffee shop, I got a business card and just as I was heading out, I ran into a lady that taught me how to ride a donkey last December for the Singing Christmas tree. We sat there talking for a while and it was great to see her again! Just before she left she handed me a check for a really large amount of money----I wasn’t expecting it and I was really blown away. That was a real blessing and just another sign that the Lord is watching over me. I had some nice face to face conversations with some employers today, so I think I have a shot at some more job opportunities. Today was a good day---and I haven’t even been to choir rehearsal or ultimate Frisbee at Meyer Amphitheater yet!!! Wow! What a great day!
When you ask God to encourage you, you better believe that he's gonna do it and blow you out of the water. People are not always very good at it, but God sure is! Thank God he uses people like us!

Engagement!!! :)

2009-06-29T11:52:00.002-05:00

Well, here is the story for all of you nosy people out there—I suppose I am a blogger, so the point of having a blog is to make people nosy about what is going on in my life. Anyway, A couple of years ago, I attended Christ Fellowship Church in Royal Palm and on occasion I sang BGV’s for the middle-school and high-school services. Even during my first semester of College, I was still very attached to the high-school service on Wednesday nights, So I continued to attend. On one of the last nights I attended, I met the new intern, Daniel Sadowski. He was very friendly and loved to write. During service, I was sitting off to the side, working on a paper that I had to turn in the next day for my English Composition Class at PBAU. He and I sat around joking for a while and when I left, I said goodbye, thinking I would probably never see him again. But he knew that I was already dating someone so he backed off. We said Hello to each other every once in a while when we passed in the hallways at church, but we didn’t really keep in touch. Facebook and Myspace, assisted in our connection. We became friends online, but still really didn’t speak. About 1 ½ years later, he started chatting with my online and told me about the fact that he was going to Peru for a semester. I thought it was neat, but I didn’t really think too much about it. You know, whatever—just another guy from church that wants to serve in ministry, “yeah, right.” So, I still tried to ignore him, but once he arrived in Peru, we started talking on almost a daily basis and by September 13th we had expressed our feelings to each other.
Before talking with Daniel, I didn’t really have a daily devotion set in place, and my heart was really struggling from some unfortunate events that took place in my previous relationship. While talking with Daniel, I noticed that all he wanted to talk about was God. This really annoyed me at first because, I knew that my heart was not right with God, and it really made me feel inadequate and uncomfortable. But I always came out encouraged at the end of the conversation. So, since he was always going to share, I started reading my Bible because I wanted to have something to share. Soon this became almost everything that we talked about and I couldn’t wait to finally meet him again. I had to wait until December 6th, 2008. The first time I saw him was actually on December 8th, we met at a park and he brought some Publix subs. We immediately clicked, it was a little awkward at first, but we both came around.
We spent the winter break getting to know each other and reading our Bibles together. The next semester we would both be attending the Bible College in Peru, which I must say, felt the like 5 years of getting to know each other concentrated into 4 months. We lived about 30 feet away from each other. We were forced to see each other on our best days and worst days and to set an example to all the other students on campus for what a relationship should look like (since relationships were not encouraged on campus.) We did a great job and were commended by our pastor at the end of the semester. By the end of the semester we were really talking about marriage and starting a family. Well, we were serious.
On June 25th, 2009, Daniel took me on a secret date. I thought we were going to the beach, but it turned out to be the Jupiter light house. We went on the tour and climbed up to the top. When we got there, it was only the two of us. *side note* Daniel wears a pair of dog tags on a necklace. One has information about his epilepsy in case of an emergency and the other one has the Bible reference for the armor of God. I am always fixing them. Well, once we got up to the top of the lighthouse, he walked over and asked me if I could fix his dog tags for him and I was about to tuck them down in his shirt when I saw the ring on the chain. I didn’t know what to say and he brought up the Bible verse about Jesus being the light of the World, told me that he loved me very much and that I was his best friend and sister. Then he got down on one knee and proposed. I told him that “I am more confident about this then anything else in the world. Yes, I’ll marry you.” We prayed and started our walk back down the stairs. Did I mention that he is terrified of heights?! He was backed up against the wall at the top and I’m like leaning over the edge looking at everything! Hehe. He is so brave : ) That night we went to eat at Bimini Twist, a fancy Sea food restaurant on Okeechobee. We dressed up. It was very nice : )
We have not set a date yet. We are hoping sometime in November or December. Right now, we are both trying to save some money. He works part-time at Panera Bread. He hasn’t been getting many hours, but some is better than nothing! I currently am unemployed. I’m looking for a job, but nothing has come up yet. There you have it : )

Don't read this--I needed a vent. Thanks.

2009-06-19T01:36:00.001-05:00

I realized today, that I am a horrible person. I guess there are things that I do on a habitual basis that really aren’t very nice—I offended someone today—not exactly intending to be rude, but I really felt incredibly sorry, downright atrocious when it was pointed out to me. I was rather put-out and mortified—‘Am I really this awfully inconsiderate?’ Wow. I really need to get myself in order. I’m pretty selfish---good thing I’m realizing that before I get married—I mean, it’s only going to inflate it’s palpableness when I tie the knot. Sad day---I mean, I want it to be happy, but I’m afraid of realizing even more, how horrific a person I could be. Daniel, I don’t know how you do it. Honestly, when I think about the way that you love me, all I can do is compare it to God’s love for me. It’s been made more than plainly seen that I need an attitude adjustment on a moment to moment basis. I can insult you as much as my selfish heart will let me to try to make you not love me---I only want to be sure( this is so sub-conscious! I hate it!) ---yet all you can say, is, “I don’t care what you think. You don’t have to understand why I love you. It won’t change anything. Just accept it. I love you, Melissa Stimely, just the way that you are!” That always blows me away. It has given me a more personal understanding of how God loves me. Thank you. I hope that one day, it will be easy for me to show you that kind of love too. Daniel, I’m sorry, but it’s going to be a challenge. I promise to try my best, but I promise that I’ll mess up too. Kyle, I’m sorry that I’m a jerk. Please, forgive me for being so harshly rude and bad-mannered.
I’m not even totally sure about what else to put into this post except about my current ideas and plans for my future… which are pretty much out there.
1. Getting married—not sure when, but soon. A lot of things need to happen before then.
2. Career—not sure what but here are some ideas—I have always wanted to act---so I’m working on some research for that direction. I love to write and I’ve been working on a book since I was around 12 and now I’m’ just working on developing an actual plot, developing characters and creating an actual story that has some point and function to it. It’s going to take some time—but that is definitely something that is going to come about before I die of old age (since I have determined that is what I’ll die from—since it won’t be a vampire bite—yes, I’ve been sucked into the twilight saga : ) ) Anyway, those are some of the immediate plans.
OH! I got an email from my employer (?) the other day, laying me off. They don’t have room for me anymore—so I need some sort of job—because I’m technically broke and the last thing I need is debt because I’m not competent enough to provide for myself—that’s the last thing I need against me if I want to be getting married soon. Wow, Prayer anyone?
When I get home, I have lots of work to do. It’s hard to accomplish things and research when there is almost never internet on the road in ALASKA. It’s amazingly beautiful up here and I’ve been really inspired this entire month. I am excited to get home. Everyone hates me, I’m sure of it. Especially my senior citizen, my head on a silver platter would probably be his death-bed wish. Like I said—I’m just that horrible. Any takers?

The extremely negative and annoyed blogger,
Mel

Alaska Update!

2009-06-12T21:35:00.003-05:00

I have been in Alaska for a week now. I’ve been having a great time. We have been able to see so many amazingly beautiful sights. During our almost daily driving sessions, every five minutes someone yells and points, “Wow! Look at that! Isn’t that beautiful, wow!” The mountains here are huge and colorful! The Rivers and streams are in abundance. Every few miles we will stop just to get out and look and to take pictures. We have even stopped to refill a couple of water bottles in the streams too! It is so beautiful here. I can’t even express. Even all of the pictures that I could share would never come close to the amazing splendor of the Alaskan mountains.

The first day, we flew into Anchorage. My first day lasted from 6 am Thursday morning until 10:30 Friday night. Which is 18 hours plus 22.5 and plus 4 hours ( to make of for the time difference) which equals 44.5 hours. I was pretty tired and I still am. I really haven’t quite caught up on sleep yet, but I’m getting there with a little nap here and there. Anyway, we flew into anchorage and waited for our ride over to the Great Alaskan Holidays Rental place, where we watched a 30 minute video on how to manage and maintain the RV that we rented. We drove off the campus in an E-Series Winnebago Chalet. It’s really nice—it has two slide-outs, with 6 beds, yet only 4 people are on board. I sleep in the huge bed just above the cabin. It’s pretty comfortable, at least while I am able to sleep. It’s especially a great place to sleep while the camper is actually moving. It basically rocks me to sleep. We drove off the campus in Anchorage and finished at a parking lot on the side of the road that supposedly had an amazing view of Mt. McKinley in Denali State Park. We thought we were seeing it, but were quickly corrected two days later when we actually saw it. Woah---it’s HUGE!
The second day we had a short drive to Denali national Park where we camped at a beautiful campsite- “Savage river.” We stayed there for two nights. The next morning we caught a bus that drove 66 miles into the national park. It was about an 8 hour bus ride. We saw all sorts of wild-life and amazing mountains. My favorite sight was the Polychrome pass. It was so incredibly beautiful! Then, once we went back to the RV, we went for a walk down a path just behind the park and we saw three grizzlies right there in the wild! --- a Mommy and her two cubs!
The next day, we drove to Fairbanks and North Pole, where it is ALWAYS Christmas : ) The street poles were decorated like candy canes and Santa was everywhere! We stayed at a resort RV park, no hook-ups of course, but there was a Natural hot spring there where we got to swim and relax for a couple of hours. The moose came right up to the water! We had been hoping to finally see a moose the entire trip and finally got to see them! It was really nice to be able to take a shower after that. At this point, we hadn’t showered in almost 5 days! Whew! About time!
From the Chena lakes hot springs resort, we drove about another 160 miles and stayed at the Chena Lakes park. We did a little bit of GeoCaching and kayaking. Now, we are in Valdez, Alaska. Not pronounced Valdehz it’s Valdeez if you please! Yesterday we drove through Thomson’s pass down Richardson highway—wow. Just wow… The mountains and the iced over lakes were beautiful. I don’t know that I will ever see anything as beautiful again as I have on this trip. Seriously, if you have never been to Alaska, at some point in your life, you need to plan to come here and see all this amazing stuff!
Yesterday, we went on a 9-hour boat ride on the LuLu Belle out and around Price William Sound out past Glacier Island and back around to the Columbia Glacier. This was incredibly cool. We got to see humpback whales, Orca whales, Seals, Sea Lions, Sea otters…Definitely cool. It was very very cold out by those Glaciers and Icebergs. Today was just kind of a hang out day. We slept in, went for a walk and grocery shopping, did some more geocaching took a long nap, and ate a delicious beef and potato dinner. Sally is a great cook. Thanks Sal! Tomorrow, we are going to go the Valdez Museum to learn more about all the history here. We may even make it over Sugar and Spice, a little place down the road that has a video of the earthquake that happened here in the sixties. It destroyed the entire city and forced the city to relocate, at least those that survived. A 9.2 earthquake shook for 4 solid minutes and forced a tsunami in through the harbor and landed barges in the middle of the town. There wasn’t much left after that. But it was caught on video by a mariner. CRAZY stuff! We still have a week and a half left. I’ excited about driving back through Thompson pass again. That is going to be beautiful! Hopefully there won’t be any clouds this time. It would be nice to see it all. Next trip we have decided to climb mountains and glaciers. We just need warmer jackets and some rope---we seemed to have left those back in Florida.
It’s stressful living so close to people for so long, but it is working out nicely and we are having a great time.

I'm Back in the USA

2009-06-03T12:33:00.008-05:00

Well, I know that I haven't posted much of anything in the last month or so. The last couple weeks of the semester were very busy and full of writing papers, sitting through six hours of classes a day and studying for impossible-to-pass exams, of which I successfully aced all. Okay, so the one that was really impossible was the Genesis exam...i got a C on that one...but I successfully aced all of my classes. It was a very good semester and I was very sad to leave knowing that I probably wouldn't be back there for some time. This is the picture of the day. People have been begging me for ages to get a new profile picture..I’ve pretty much had the same exact one on facebook for about 7 months now….maybe a little bit longer; but anyway. I took this one today and I love to edit photos…I especially take pride in my unique talent over overly editing photographs…I love this! I could do this all day! I only wish that I could actually afford the equipment to improve my photography skills and to actually have a studio so I can take pictures for other people. A studio would be so much fun! I would turn it into my own personal cave—kinda like batman…and I’d live there editing pictures for the rest of my life….I would probably need a few extra trips to the eye doctor considering that glaring into a computer screen all day is the furthest thing from healthy. But that’s what technology does to you these days, I guess.
Anyway…now that I’ve been home for going on three weeks…I have successfully acquired three sunburns, a great tan, a surf board, and a butt load of stress that I can’t figure out where to dump off. I don’t even have a job yet---I really haven’t been looking for one though because I am leaving for Alaska for two and a half weeks starting this Friday! I’m pretty darn excited. I’ve also started a VLOG show with my cousin. It’s called the LN and Mo show (since she has called me MO since I don’t even know when.) We sat around the other night being totally ridiculous which is precisely how we are when we get around each other….i’m actually going to Alaska with her…this is really going to be interesting. You know, I’ve just realized that I’m a pretty major traveler…and I love it. Within the last 6 months, I’ve visited every east coast state, lived in Peru for 4 months and spent two and a half weeks in Alaska…and by the end of the year, I hope to visit the cayman islands as well.
I usually give my entries a title after I have finished typing them out, but, this one is going to be rather complicated, considering that I’ve included just about every topic I can think of right now. Anyway, here is a video that Ellen and I made the other night. I hope you laugh at our foolishness! Enjoy! :)

The Lips Of The Lord Are On His Trumpet.

2009-05-01T16:16:00.003-05:00

I’ve have really been living in a spirit of fear lately. My soul has not been at peace and today I can literally feel my soul tremble. I know that this is NOT from God. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but on this campus—everyone is obsessed with the end times and they all think that if not today…then tomorrow. Jesus is calling us home! But every single time someone mentions that—I grow uncomfortable and angry with God. I get afraid and selfish. I want to get married and have a family and accomplish all of these things before the Lord comes back. It’s not fair that I won’t be able to experience life. –And I shake my fist at God….but the very next moment I become ashamed of myself. I can’t stand the thought of God accepting me the way that I am: angry, selfish, foolish, unorganized, lazy, and disobedient. “God! Just let me be! I’ll fix myself and then you can have me!” but NO! That’s not how it’s supposed to be! This morning someone spoke up in class and told everyone that an angel had appeared to one of her friends yesterday and said these words: “The lips of the Lord are on His trumpet.” This totally freaked me out and this is what really started my soul atrembling.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have avoided reading my Bible and praying because I was busy and because I didn’t think God was big enough to take care of my problems. He’s not worthy enough for me to approach him for a few minutes each day. His death on the cross is nothing to me. –not really; but this has been my attitude the last couple of weeks and I have broken God’s heart---now that I have realized this, my heart is broken to and now I am broken at his feet, trembling in fear and begging him to take me back and to take away my fear.
Last night, I had the room to myself. Both of my roommates slept somewhere else. This was perfect timing because I really needed time with the Lord. So I sat up in my bed for like an hour just praying out loud. So, this afternoon, I have laundry duty…which is really great…because, I basically get to sit outside and do homework or read and get things accomplished while I’m working in the Laundry room. So, right now, as I’m watching the laundry room, I’m also doing some reading and having a devotional time with the Lord. Like I said, my spirit is not at ease and I am physically trembling at this point because of my fear. So I sat down to journal:
Lord, my heart is not at ease. I feel greatly oppressed and I don’t want Satan to ever take the victory over my attitude again. I want you to have the victory. Lord, my soul is nearly trembling right now. I’m so fearful and I don’t know why. Lord, speak to me and comfort me concerning this.
Well, he did. And it was amazing. The first verse is especially incredible. God spoke directly to me through 3 specific verses that covered everything that I’ve been afraid of over the past few weeks: the swine flu, the end of the world, the nightmares that I’ve been struggling with, etc. it perfectly listed all of those things out and said that they would not touch me. PSALM 91: 5-7 (8):
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
and a thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
When I read this, I was like woah! I spent over an hour last night in prayer asking for God to speak to me – and he did. He spoke directly to my need. The Bible says that God is called the great I AM. This means that God will become what we need. Anything that we need—God can become this and provide it. He is all that I need! This was probably the moment in my life, thus far, where I have truly felt the presence of God. It was through reading these verses. The next verse that I read was ISAIAH 41: 10-14:
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Behold, all who are incensed against you
shall be put to shame and confounded;
those who strive against you
shall be as nothing and shall perish.
You shall seek those who contend with you,
but you shall not find them;
those who war against you
shall be as nothing at all.
For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”
Fear not, you g worm Jacob,
you men of Israel!
I am the one who helps you, declares the Lord;
your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.

This makes me think of the verse in Romans 8:31: If God is for me, who can be against me? How much stronger of a God can I ask for? No other God loves me. As far as I know, every other God on earth is out there to condemn and to Judge every one that follows him. My God is not. I do not have a set of laws that I need to perfectly keep all the days of my life. Yes, I have rules and I fail to obey them a lot of the time---I want to keep these rules, but sometimes I fall and I allow for the desires of my flesh to take over. This is how I know that I need the grace of the Lord. Because I’m not going to measure up! Because I’m not good enough—I need the Lord! Romans 3:23: For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I’m a sinner and I need Jesus! The coolest thing is that Jesus doesn’t want us to be perfect! He wants us to rely on him! Matthew 9:12 says: It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick… For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners! Whoever says that God could not accept them because of what they have done has the absolute wrong idea of who God has called. He has called the unworthy! Why? Because the worthy are too proud of their accomplishment of worthiness! But the unworthy are humbled and vulnerable because they know that they are nothing. The next step is just realizing that our unworthiness joined with God’s worthiness equals completely worthy! How cool is our God!?
The next verse that I read was 1 John 4: 15-18: If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
God IS love. He doesn’t just give love—he is the source of love because that’s what he is. What else could possibly motivate him to bless us the way that he does and give mercy to us on a moment to moment basis like he does? What more can I ask for than a God who IS the very essence and being of love?! He is Love! So, because of this, I have no fear. Every good thing comes from God and just like The passage from Psalms says, none of these plagues or bad things will touch me. If they do—it is not because he is judging me, I am His child, he does not condemn me because of the things that I do, I am under grace! But I am also a living sacrifice. If something bad happens to me, then it is God’s will that I continue to live according to his word and to continue trusting in Him. Others are watching, So even when bad things do happen, I need to be careful that I do not react to it out of my flesh, because if I do—my testimony will be ruined. 2 Corinthians 7:4 says: In all of my troubles, my joy knows no bounds. “Woah, wait a minute!” You say. “I’m supposed to be joyful to the point where I could explode?-----when I’m going through hard times?” YES! This is all through the strength that the Lord gives us. Romans 5:5: And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love in our hearts by the holy spirit whom he has given us. Why am I joyful, even in times of Trouble? Because no matter what, I have a hope that will never let me down. My God will never leave me or forsake me! I’m going to heaven baby!
Finally, 2 Timothy 1:7: For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline! This is so cool---my fear is not given to me by the Lord. And if I have fear, I still have access to God’s power through the holy spirit! Did you hear that? I HAVE ACCESS TO THE POWER OF GOD! 1Corinthians 2: 10-15: but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment.
I have access to the mind of God because the same spirit that searches the deep things of God, lives within me! HOLY MOLY!!! How incredibly cool is that?!
God is good. I do not need to be afraid. I am loved. The Lord gives me Joy. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted. He comforts me. He speaks to me. He hears my cry. What else do I need? Nothing! The coolest thing about this entire entry is that the Lord was inspiring me and speaking to me as I was writing it. We do not need visible signs. We need God to speak to us. I have never really felt God speaking to me before. But recently someone told me just to ask for God to speak to me and he will. Well, seriously try it. Sadly, this is the first time I have ever tried it. Gladly, it won’t be the last. I just asked the Lord to hear my prayers and to speak to me and he totally did!! Really, I am in awe of the Lord right now. I hope that this will bless you, just as it blessed me to write this. Bless the Lord, Oh my soul and all that is within me! Praise his holy name! (Psalm 103:1) God is so Good!

-Mel

Perfect Timing.

2009-04-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

So, the other day I was taking a shower. While I was taking a shower, someone knocked on the door, “Please, Melissa, May I use the bathroom! It’s an emergency!” Well, of course I had to say yes. I couldn’t let the poor girl suffer through my long shower. Anyway so I unlocked the door and she came in and used the bathroom…before she was done using the toilet, someone else walked in the door to brush her teeth and use the mirror—and while she was doing that, there were two girls standing in the small hallway just outside the bathroom and they were talking with all of us in the bathroom….this was quite humorous…because honestly…this bathroom is very small and there really is only enough room and privacy for one person at a time. ---just thought I would start off with a funny little story.
Okay now, so an update on my health. The last few days, my stomach has been great. I’ve been able to eat just about anything I want and drink coffee again!  So, that is good. The doctor did say that it would be a come and go kind of virus, so I’m not going to be surprised if it comes back, but I really do hope and pray that the Great Physician has healed me for good.
The last week had been filled with writing papers. I’ve written 3 papers in the last 4 days and I only have 4 more to write! One of them is due on Thursday and the others are due sometime in May, but I still have a decent amount of work to do. My issue is always getting started with these things…so once I get started, I’m usually pretty good and I can speedily get through the rest of the work. Yesterday was supposed to be my day off, but I had rehearsals all day long and papers to pretend to be writing. I had rehearsals for this Sunday because I am singing for the English service in the morning and the Spanish service in the evening. I would much rather sing than not sing, but I’m a little conflicted. Singing takes up all of my paper time! So, any time I am not in rehearsal, I’m either reading one of my text books or writing a paper or listening to Chuck tracks!
I don’t have too much to update you on, because I’ve really just been busy with things here on campus, but the Lord is teaching me so much! Oh, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before or not, but I am learning German online. And next semester, I’m going to be taking German lessons from one of the staff members here on campus. I’m really excited about this. I can understand a lot of Spanish—but I’m just not catching onto it very fast and I really don’t enjoy Spanish. German, on the other hand, I really enjoy. I finally told Daniel last night that I didn’t like Spanish. I’m not quite sure how he took it, but as long as I’m honest with him, we are pretty good  I also told him that I really want to go to Germany and that I couldn’t see myself raising my children in South America—but I could picture us raising our children in Europe. Yes, we do talk often about the potential for us to have a family in the future. We are very hopeful and we are very confident that the Lord has amazing plans for us. We can’t wait to know what they are—but the Lord’s timing is perfect, so we will know when it is the right time. So if anyone want to contribute to a trip to Germany, just shoot me an email :P Kidding! But, I will go someday. That and Israel. Although, it’s not quite Europe or the middle east—but I do have an opportunity to go to Alaska this summer for like a week and a half..so, I’m considering it—but I should probably find out soon, so I can get my plane ticket!
Anyway, I should probably get out of bed now. They will be calling for breakfast soon—Mmmm pancakes! 
P.S. See you in 28 days!!!!! 

He Restores my Soul!

2009-04-18T22:14:00.006-05:00

I wrote a song today. I was inspired while writing a paper about the life and character of David. It's not the greatest recording, i messed up some words and chords, but it's the best I have now. I'm not coordinated either...so singing and playing at the same time is a challenge. If your ears bleed, let me know, I'll delete it. But the Lord really gave me these words out of Psalm 23. It really ministers to me...because I need to remember that the Lord gives me rest.
http://www.sendspace.com/file/9eqr01

Lyrics:
Yea, though I walk through the Valley of Death,
I will fear no evil. (2x)

And he restores my soul! (3X)
(1) For I will fear no evil,
(2) For I know you're with me.
(3) For I know you lift me.

When I'm alone with much to bear.
For I know you're with me.

When I am weak, I know that you're strong.
For I know you'll lift me.

MOSAIC ME

2009-04-14T19:10:00.004-05:00

So, I saw that my mom posted something like this on facebook--and i spent all day trying to find pictures that I feel reflect me. This was a pretty cool application, so, I figured i would share it :)
The Questions:
1. What is your first name? Melissa
2. What is your favorite food? Cheese
3. What is your favorite color? Green
4. Favorite drink? Sweet tea (even though green tea cake came up....i like that too :)
5. Dream vacation? Torres Park in padagonia, Chile
6. Favorite hobby? Photgraphy
7. What you want to be when you grow up? Mommy
8. What do you love most in life? Love
9. One word to describe you? Bride (of Christ, DUH!) ;)

Easter Prayer

2009-04-12T08:25:00.000-05:00

Goodmorning! Today, is Easter. It’s funny, I didn’t know until this past Monday that Easter would be today. I totally missed Palm Sunday. They didn’t even mention it in church last week! I totally missed it! But anyway—that doesn’t change anything about what the Lord has done for me—but sadly, even this Good Friday, I barely even stopped to think about what he has done for me or even thank Him!! When I realized this—I couldn’t even believe myself—then I asked myself, well, how often do I really stop to thank the Lord for what he has done for me? In fact, I do a whole lot more complaining than I do thanking. When I realized this I decided that their needs to be a change. Even in simple things, I need to give thanks and have a good attitude. When I’m not feeling well, I need to keep a smile on my face. When I’m angry, I need to keep a smile on my face and surrender those emotions to the Lord! Because when I take things into my own hands, I do nothing but mess myself up and dive right into my human nature—throwing my emotions into the air like a stack of cash. Back to Easter—I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions lately that have been bothering me for a very long time. I love the Lord, yes, and I’m a Christian, yes. I believe that Jesus is my savior and that he died and rose again, yes, and I believe that I am saved by grace through faith. I could give you a textbook definition of grace—but that doesn’t mean that my hearts understands it! Also, the character of Christ—I am continuously struggling with the idea that Jesus was both 100% human and 100% God. This boggles my mind. Yes, I believe it, but I don’t understand it! I get so distracted from loving god and getting to know His character by things that are just not important! I’m not going to be able to understand all of these crazy things either—not until I get to heaven! BTW-Heaven is going to be great. I’m going to get to sing and dance before the Lord with all my might—more so than David did, and I’m not even going to have to worry about other people watching! There are not going to be judgmental people there to criticize my “moves” or my “notes”—it’s simply going to be a joyful noise and a joyful dance! I don’t want to wait until I get to heaven to start my rejoicing in song and dance. I don’t want to wait until I get to heaven to live completely for the Lord. In light of grace and in light of the hope that I have that will surely never disappoint me—I’m going to do just that—I’m going to sing and dance before the Lord. I want to worship Him with all of who I am—even if that means feeling uncomfortable. Even if that means—giving my emotions to Him and giving Him all of my insecurities-- Nothing is too big for him to handle. So, this Easter, I want to make a vow to give everything to the Lord. I want to start a new chapter in my walk of faith. So seriously, keep me accountable. That’s what brothers and sisters in Christ are for right?! We help each other grow, pick each other up, love each other for who we are and nothing less, and we walk together with the Lord. He is our reason for life. Our purpose for all eternity is to bring glory and honor to Him and to Him alone. Our reward is not here on earth---but it is in heaven. But what more can we ask for than to be able to run and jump into our heavenly Father’s arms and sit on his lap in the throne room—just talking and just rejoicing. Lord, make yourself real to me. Keep me in line, and convict me when I am doing wrong. Keep me in step with you and never let me go. Amen.

Amazing Article by Peter Kreeft

2009-04-11T08:53:00.001-05:00

The Divinity of Christ

The doctrine of Christ's divinity is the central Christian doctrine, for it is like a skeleton key that opens all the others. Christians have not independently reasoned out and tested each of the teachings of Christ received via Bible and Church, but believe them all on his authority. For if Christ is divine, He can be trusted to be infallible in everything He said, even hard things like exalting suffering and poverty, forbidding divorce, giving his Church the authority to teach and forgive sins in his name, warning about hell (very often and very seriously), instituting the scandalous sacrament of eating his flesh—we often forget how many "hard sayings" he taught!

When the first Christian apologists began to give a reason for the faith that was in them to unbelievers, this doctrine of Christ's divinity naturally came under attack, for it was almost as incredible to Gentiles as it was scandalous to Jews. That a man who was born out of a woman's womb and died on a cross, a man who got tired and hungry and angry and agitated and wept at his friend's tomb, that this man who got dirt under his fingernails should be God was, quite simply, the most astonishing, incredible, crazy-sounding idea that had ever entered the mind of man in all human history.

Christ was either God
or a bad man.

The argument the early apologists used to defend this apparently indefensible doctrine has become a classic one. C.S. Lewis used it often, e.g. in Mere Christianity, the book that convinced Chuck Colson (and thousands of others). I once spent half a book (Between Heaven and Hell) on this one argument alone. It is the most important argument in Christian apologetics, for once an unbeliever accepts the conclusion of this argument (that Christ is divine), everything else in the Faith follows, not only intellectually (Christ's teachings must all then be true) but also personally (if Christ is God, He is also your total Lord and Savior).

The argument, like all effective arguments, is extremely simple: Christ was either God or a bad man.

Unbelievers almost always say he was a good man, not a bad man; that he was a great moral teacher, a sage, a philosopher, a moralist, and a prophet, not a criminal, not a man who deserved to be crucified. But a good man is the one thing he could not possibly have been according to simple common sense and logic. For he claimed to be God. He said, "Before Abraham was, I Am", thus speaking the word no Jew dares to speak because it is God's own private name, spoken by God himself to Moses at the burning bush. Jesus wanted everyone to believe that he was God. He wanted people to worship him. He claimed to forgive everyone's sins against everyone. (Who can do that but God, the One offended in every sin?)

Now what would we think of a person who went around making these claims today? Certainly not that he was a good man or a sage. There are only two possibilities: he either speaks the truth or not. If he speaks the truth, he is God and the case is closed. We must believe him and worship him. If he does not speak the truth, then he is not God but a mere man. But a mere man who wants you to worship him as God is not a good man. He is a very bad man indeed, either morally or intellectually. If he knows that he is not God, then he is morally bad, a liar trying deliberately to deceive you into blasphemy. If he does not know that he is not God, if he sincerely thinks he is God, then he is intellectually bad—in fact, insane.

The strength of this argument is that it is not merely a logical argument about concepts;
it is about Jesus. It invites people to read the Gospels and get to know this man.

A measure of your insanity is the size of the gap between what you think you are and what you really are. If I think I am the greatest philosopher in America, I am only an arrogant fool; if I think I am Napoleon, I am probably over the edge; if I think I am a butterfly, I am fully embarked from the sunny shores of sanity. But if I think I am God, I am even more insane because the gap between anything finite and the infinite God is even greater than the gap between any two finite things, even a man and a butterfly.

Josh McDowell summarized the argument simply and memorably in the trilemma "Lord, liar, or lunatic?" Those are the only options. Well, then, why not liar or lunatic? But almost no one who has read the Gospels can honestly and seriously consider that option. The savviness, the canniness, the human wisdom, the attractiveness of Jesus emerge from the Gospels with unavoidable force to any but the most hardened and prejudiced reader. Compare Jesus with liars like the Reverend Sun Myung Moon or lunatics like the dying Nietzsche. Jesus has in abundance precisely those three qualities that liars and lunatics most conspicuously lack:
His practical wisdom, his ability to read human hearts, to understand people and the real, unspoken question behind their words, his ability to heal people's spirits as well as their bodies;
His deep and winning love, his passionate compassion, his ability to attract people and make them feel at home and forgiven, his authority, "not as the scribes"; and above all
His ability to astonish, his unpredictability, his creativity. Liars and lunatics are all so dull and predictable! No one who knows both the Gospels and human beings can seriously entertain the possibility that Jesus was a liar or a lunatic, a bad man.

No, the unbeliever almost always believes that Jesus was a good man, a prophet, a sage. Well then, if he was a sage, you can trust him and believe the essential things he says. And the essential thing he says is that he is the divine Savior of the world and that you must come to him for salvation. If he is a sage, you must accept his essential teaching as true. If his teaching is false, then he is not a sage.

The strength of this argument is that it is not merely a logical argument about concepts; it is about Jesus. It invites people to read the Gospels and get to know this man. The premise of the argument is the character of Jesus, the human nature of Jesus. The argument has its feet on the earth. But it takes you to heaven, like Jacob's ladder (which Jesus said meant him: Gen 28:12; Jn 1:51). Each rung follows and holds together. The argument is logically airtight; there is simply no way out.

What, then, do people say when confronted with this argument? Often, they simply confess their prejudices: "Oh, I just can't believe that!" (But if it has been proved to be true, you must believe it if you really seek the truth!)

Sometimes, they go away, like many of Jesus' contemporaries, wondering and shaking their heads and thinking. That is perhaps the very best result you can hope for. The ground has been softened up and plowed. The seed has been sown. God will give the increase.

But if they know some modern theology, they have one of two escapes. Theology has an escape; common sense does not. Common sense is easily convertible. It is the theologians, now as then, who are the hardest to convert.

The first escape is the attack of the Scripture "scholars" on the historical reliability of the Gospels. Perhaps Jesus never claimed to be divine. Perhaps all the embarrassing passages were inventions of the early Church (say "Christian community"—it sounds nicer).

In that case, who invented traditional Christianity if not Christ? A lie, like a truth, must originate somewhere. Peter? The twelve? The next generation? What was the motive of whoever first invented the myth (euphemism for lie)? What did they get out of this elaborate, blasphemous hoax? For it must have been a deliberate lie, not a sincere confusion. No Jew confuses Creator with creature, God with man. And no man confuses a dead body with a resurrected, living one.

Here is what they got out of their hoax. Their friends and families scorned them. Their social standing, possessions, and political privileges were stolen from them by both Jews and Romans. They were persecuted, imprisoned, whipped, tortured, exiled, crucified, eaten by lions, and cut to pieces by gladiators. So some silly Jews invented the whole elaborate, incredible lie of Chrisitanity for absolutely no reason, and millions of Gentiles believed it, devoted their lives to it, and died for it—for no reason. It was only a fantastic practical joke, a hoax. Yes, there is a hoax indeed, but the perpetrators of it are the twentieth-century theologians, not the Gospel writers.

The second escape (notice how eager we are to squirm out of the arms of God like a greased pig) is to Orientalize Jesus, to interpret him not as the unique God-man but as one of many mystics or "adepts" who realized his own inner divinity just as a typical Hindu mystic does. This theory takes the teeth out of his claim to divinity, for he only realized that everyone is divine. The problem with that theory is simply that Jesus was not a Hindu but a Jew! When he said "God", neither he nor his hearers meant Brahman, the impersonal, pantheistic, immanent all; he meant Yahweh, the personal, theistic, transcendent Creator. It is utterly unhistorical to see Jesus as a mystic, a Jewish guru. He taught prayer, not meditation. His God is a person, not a pudding. He said he was God but not that everyone was. He taught sin and forgiveness, as no guru does. He said nothing about the "illusion" of individuality, as the mystics do.

Attack each of these evasions—Jesus as the good man. Jesus as the lunatic, Jesus as the liar, Jesus as the man who never claimed divinity, Jesus as the mystic—take away these flight squares, and there is only one square left for the unbeliever's king to move to. And on that square waits checkmate. And a joyous mating it is. The whole argument is really a wedding invitation.

Just a Rant :)

2009-04-09T14:01:00.001-05:00

Well, yesterday, I was asked to take some pictures for a friend who got engaged this past Monday. She wanted to send an announcement to friends and family with a couple pictures—the cool thing is that she didn’t know that I was into photography when she asked me. So, this was my second gig as a photographer. I’m not a pro or anything—but I’m leaning in that direction for a possible career. I just realized how much I really enjoyed doing it—and it really boosted my mood while I was working on it. So—I think there is potential there. So, congratulations to Darci and Gino! May God bless you in the adventure of life as you seek the Lord together. I’m so excited for you guys!
As you read in the last blog entry—I mentioned that I had quite a few papers to write—but I was too busy writing blogs instead. Well, The case is the same now. It takes a whole lot less energy to write out everything that I’m thinking than it takes to actually sit down and write a paper.
*Current song playing on my iTunes: Wishing you were here by Chicago *
*Current person I’m missing: Ellen! Wish you were here!*
My goal for today is to finish a few more chapters in my life of David book and writing or at least starting on of my Genesis papers. Then I have band rehearsal for Sunday. My roommate sings for the English service here in lima, but this weekend She is going to be in Pisco* so she asked me to sing for her while she is gone. So, I said yes. Anyway—rehearsal is tonight. Maybe I’ll post the song list and some videos later..but actually if you get a chance—check out the song “Profundo Amor” by Vertical on youtube—maybe I will post the link of the video here—who knows. But it is my favorite song since being here. I’ve sang it several times for Believers night. It’s beautiful in Spanish—I don’t think it would translate well in to English and still be as beautiful as it in en espanol  Anyway—good song I really don’t know what the point of this blog entry is—except to waste time and distract my mind from my stomach ache. I ate oatmeal this morning---big mistake—I forgot that they cooked it in milk instead of water. Oops. That really messed me up. I’m pretty sure that I’m lactose intolerant now. Anything dairy hurts! I’ve tried Lactose free milk since being here and that seems to do just fine in my stomach. Anyway—this stomach ache is getting old. I’m starting to pray that Jesus either comes back or takes it away….okay okay, or gives me patience to endure until it is His perfect timing to take it away. If I am still sick on Monday when Rachel comes back from Pisco—then I am going to go to the doctor and she is going to take me. This particular Dr. that we are going to go to likes to use needles—so I’m praying that I’m better so I don’t have to get poked 
Last night, I spoke with someone from church back home. I was incredibly sad and angry when I heard the news that the Singing Christmas Tree is no more. I was very angry at the new pastor for coming in and taking over the place and ripping us apart….but then I got even angrier---angrier at the fact that that was my first reaction. The pastor is doing what he believes that Lord wants him to do with the church. He is not taking over us. We have been without a steady pastor for a few years and we prayed for the Lord to bring us a pastor to stay—and He did. Why should I complain about the Lord’s will. I know that the Lord is going to be honored through this decision. I thank God for the examples that the people from church have set for me. They encouraged me and we all mourned together 3000 miles apart.
I went to bed last night and used ear plugs. I couldn’t hear a thing. So, I started to pray and especially prayed for the Lord to bring me joy when I woke up the next morning. Well, this morning, I woke up refreshed and I had Joy! Seriously! I don’t understand. It’s hard to react the right way right when bad or sad things happen, but when we rest in the Lord and he renews our joy and strength and gives us understanding—then we can see what he wants us to learn and how he wants us to react. God is good—even during the storms.
Anyway, I thank God for Pastor Jimmy Scroggins. He is a man of God.
*current song playing on my iTunes: “Prodigal” by Casting Crowns.* “Daddy, here I am. Won’t you take me back again. One day you’re a prince, the next day you’re a slave. Daddy, here I am again. Will you take me back tonight.”
I love Casting Crowns—the words to all of their songs are so true to the things that are going on inside me and even in the world today. They are always good at writing lyrics that make you think and they lead you to the cross. Thank God for good Christian Music  Anyway—I should probably get onto my paper writing.

We're Engaged--Okay, I'm Not, But Darci Is!!

2009-04-08T17:50:00.004-05:00

I took some engagement photos for a friend today. I only had 20 minutes...they aren't the best---but it's the best I could do with the small window of time that I had. It was tons of fun though! Enjoy!! :)

Just a Whole Lot of Missing Part 2 :)

2009-04-07T13:45:00.002-05:00

If only I could add words to my research papers like I add words and entries to my blog—maybe I would be a little more stress free. I think I have 8 research papers to write in the next 5 weeks. That’s definitely a handful of stuff that I’m afraid to look at. One is due in less than a week and two more are due the week after that. I love the end of semesters! Catching up on missed reading assignments or work missed from sitting out of class sick! UHG! It’s a bit overwhelming at times; but it’s my own fault—I’m a lazy procrastinator! I think I write better papers under stress anyway. I get them done in record time!  Well, since I arrived back home from Iquitos, my stomach has been acting up a bit, but since Friday, I’ve been in bed basically all day every day. I’ve had a fever the last couple nights and I can’t keep anything in my stomach. The doctor did say that this Virus would come and go—there’s no cure for it, but I’m just waiting it out. He said it could even take many months. The frustrating thing isn’t simply the running to the bathroom every 5 minutes—it’s the weakness that comes along with it. Sometimes it gets to the point where walking from one room to another is a chore. But I think the Lord has a lot to teach me. I’m kind of praying that this stomach issue isn’t going to be the main thorn in my flesh for the rest of my life though—that would seriously suck, but, whatever the Lord wills is best---even if it ruins my stomach and kills me—at least I’ll be home in heaven with no more tears or pain. I honestly can’t wait for heaven. I mean, I can enjoy my life here on earth and I want to do everything I can here, like get married, have a family, see my children have a family and so forth—but, if the Lord decided to take me home today—I don’t see how I could complain. At least my prayer for a new stomach would come true!
I’m really rather homesick right now. My parents came to visit last week and I had a really hard time with them leaving. I don’t know why I took it so hard, but I guess I realized that being 3000 miles away from everything that I know isn’t as easy as I thought. I mean, I love it here and I can deal with everything, but sometimes I wish home was two doors down and I could just go home and sleep in my own bed, by myself in the room with my cats keeping my feet warm and waking me up in the morning to play, taking a shower for as long as I want, in my own bathroom where I can find all my stuff because I would be the only one that touches it, cooking in my kitchen—better yet, cooking at all would be nice! Oh, the things I miss from home. I actually miss working and getting a paycheck! Living here really isn’t expensive at all, but I’m slowly using up my account and I hate watching it fall and knowing that I have no choice but to work all summer long to build it back up. But enough with the negative—it has been nice not having to worry about getting up at 4:30 in the morning to make it to work on time. It’s been a nice break, where I am focused on the Lord and building godly relationships here, in a worldly-distraction free environment.
I have a couple of things planned for when I get home. One, I am going to do my best to spend some time working on my novel at least 3 times a week, if not every day. I’m thinking I might buy a journal and keep it with me at all times, so when I have a few minutes I can add a little here and a little there to the story. I mean, honestly…that’s the only way anything is going to get done. Two, I am planning a photography project. I asked my sister Heidi to model for it and she said yes. This was a while ago that I asked her, but hopefully she will remember. Three, I’m going to join the choir again at church and try to get involved again in the music ministry as much as I can. I really miss the church. Four, my goal is to finish all of my chuck-tracks for next semester by the end of the summer—that will be really nice for next semester because chuck tracks are time-consuming and stressful!! And five, I’m planning on working for chick-fil-a again, unless I get a better offer. I usually get good pay and good hours with CFA, so I really have nothing to complain about with that---oh yes, AND we get free food! YUM! Anyway---that’s just a list of things that I’m going to try and do this summer. I’m going to be busy. Maybe I can do some babysitting on the side—any need a baby sitter?! Oh, and Nicole—as for you—we are going to meet at LEAST once a week---I think we need to go back to the cute diner downtown. That was a nice place with good food, good coffee and clean bathrooms.
I think I’m just blabbering now, but anyway—that’s what has been on my mind lately. Now, off to some more reading. Maybe I’ll get a paper done today…who knows—it’s my last day off before my classes start back up again! I’d love to hear from you. I like to get letters or even e-mails would be nice. If you need the school address, just let me know. But my e-mail is Mstimely@bellsouth.net . Have a great day!

I just missed home and Nicole, so i figured i would post some videos and pictures to help my heart :) I miss all of you!! See you soon! :)

P.s. did i forget to mention my spicy altos?!!! I love you!!! Possible reunion over the summer?!

Just a Whole Lot of Missing

2009-04-07T12:56:00.004-05:00

Jungle fever and parents.

2009-04-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

Before I get into details about my trip, I want to inform you about a guy that I went to high school with. He was in a car accident on Sunday Night or very early morning, I’m not sure. But he was driving home around 3 in the morning and fell asleep and when he woke up he over corrected and his car started to roll. He has a shoulder injury and a serious hip injury, also he has a horrible injury to his foot. His wounds are open and he is wrapped to keep from infection until he is stable enough to do reconstructive surgery. This is a very serious situation. There are many details that I do not have permission to give out, but I ask that you would join me in prayer for Brandon Jacobs.
Lord, I pray right now for Brandon. I don’t know all of the details and I’m not sure what kind of relationship he has with you. I know that he knows of you, Lord, but if he has strayed from you, Father, then I ask that would draw him close to you. I ask that you would use the pain and the suffering from these injuries and even the long-term effects that he knows it will cause to have him run to you. Lord, great physician, I pray for your hands of healing to come overwhelmingly over his body and to miraculously heal these injuries. Lord, you are perfectly capable of healing even the most deadly of injuries and diseases. Lord, This is nothing for you. But father, if it is your will, that Brandon is not healed, I ask that you would use this as a testimony of you to all of those that will hear his story. I pray that not only would you heal Brandon and use him according to your will but also that you would heal the hearts and souls of others that need to hear about you and your amazing works and beautiful character. We don’t know why all of these things happen, but we do know that all things work together for the good of those that love you. In our weakness, lord, you are made strong. Lord give Brandon strength to endure this incredible amount of pain. Let Him know that your strength is what sustains him. That it’s your kindness that leads him to repentance, not your wrath. Sometimes you need to do big things to get our attention. Lord, I pray that those that need to direct their attention to you will have open eyes and hearts to what you have to say through this. I know that your will is going to be done. I know that you love Brandon. Comfort him and his family now as they go through this incredibly tough time. We love you, Lord. And we trust that you know what you are doing. Amen.
Please keep in prayer for Brandon.
So, my trip to Iquitos was pretty incredible. It was very trying. I didn’t always have the best attitude, and I really regret not fighting it and just smiling—because technically, I was going there to be a witness to the people of Iquitos and Panguana. I was extremely tired the entire trip and we were busy a lot of the time. Every night we went to the boulevard to perform dramas, witness to the locals and play with the kids. The scary thing about this was seeing all of the witchcraft going on in the streets and with some of the parents of the kids that we were playing with. We could really feel Satan’s hand over this community. Many were open to the gospel, but many were also so stuck in their ways and Satan had such a tight grip on them that we were not able to penetrate their walls. Luckily our job is not to convince people of God’s love and grace—it’s simply to share. The Bible doesn’t say that we remove the veil, but that God removes the veil. I would venture to say that around 100 people or more altogether in Iquitos came to know the Lord. Several nights we went to the Church which was about a 30 minute bus ride away from the house where we were staying at. This area is incredibly poor: mud roads, children running around without shoes, dirty water, shack like buildings…it was crazy to see this. But the kids all seemed very happy. It really was such a blessing to be able to play with them and bless them. On Thursday, we got up early in the morning and went out to breakfast at this Texas restaurant down the road. This place is awesome and open 24 hours! After breakfast, we all caught motor taxies to the port which was like a little opening in the trees by the water where you walked the plank onto this sketchy looking boat. When we got inside, we all took our hammocks out and hung them up all lined up in a row on the top floor of the boat. Most of us slept, but some were doing the Lord’s work and led 3 of the guys that ran the boat to the Lord! The boat ride was a 3 hour trip----this brought to my mind the Gilligan’s island theme song. Once we arrived to the shore of the area of the jungle that we were to trek through that day, we walked over the plank onto the muddy shore of the Amazon River. After getting everything together we started a good 30-45 minute walk through the jungle to get to the village. We came to a part in the walk where the path was under water from flooding and we had to take a canoe to the other side. Luckily, there were canoes there.---that was one of my biggest fears, was having to swim through snake infested waters. But the lord provided a canoe and that held me off a little while until the next challenge. We all finally made it to the other side of the flooded area—some did have to swim though because there wasn’t enough room in the canoes. We had to walk about another mile on the other side to get to the village. Just as we arrived to the church in the village, it started pouring rain. It was such a relief because it was so hot outside! It really cooled us off. We were supposed to paint the building but because it rained, we weren’t able to. So, instead of painting, we went to a little creek down a little path and went swimming with some of the locals. The water was pretty disgusting. We held a children’s service in the afternoon and afterwards went to the hill and ran around with them. In the evening we held a service for the adults. Not many came though because just before service started and incredible thunder and rain storm and lightening display came upon us and it lasted all night. We didn’t leave until around 10 at night….let me mention that there are no lights out there and we are in the middle of the pouring rain in the pitch black darkness and on a path that has missing boards----through water that is snake infested (but the Lord did provide canoes) that was a blessing! And then back up through the mud to the edge of the water where we waited for the boat to return and take us back down the river. Did I mention that there is no such thing as a toilet in the jungle?! I avoided going to the bathroom all day. That was a serious chore! Hehe. But the walk back to the boat in the jungle was probably my favorite part of the entire missions trip. We saw beautiful displays of lightening and heard amazing thunder and thanked God for the rain the kept us cool and kept the mosquitoes away! Some of the guys were telling silly jokes along the way to keep everyone entertained. So the big joke of the night was the thunder was God laughing at the dumb jokes and the lightening was God taking pictures! Ha! This was probably one of the most memorable experiences of my life thus far 
On one of the other days in Iquitos we visited a district called Belen. This area is right on the shore of the Italia (?) river which is a small river that branches off of the Amazon river. But during half the year (rainy season) the entire area of Belen is under water---so the people’s houses are all built up several levels because they always expect the first floors of the house to flood every year. The streets turn into canals that need to be traveled by canoe. It is very sad to see this part of town but it was very eye opening. At one point, we crossed the Italia river and saw a catholic church that was almost inaccessible. The people of that area know that the pastor is a drunk and have seen his behavior outside of church---they all refer to him as Satan. It really is very sad.
On the plane ride home, a few of the members from my team claimed that they sensed some sort of evil spirit on board. A woman collapsed during the last hour of the flight and caused an uproar onboard with all passengers trying to figure out what was going on. Medics were helping her out and the flight attendants were trying to get the pilot to land the plane. In the last few minutes before we landed, they got an oxygen mask on her got her back into her seat. We landed and taxied up to the terminal where we were met by an ambulance ready to take her to the hospital. Interesting experience.
When I arrived back here on the Lima campus, I ran directly up to apartment 2, where I was met by my parents! Yes, they came to Peru! It was my Dad’s first time outside the states. Pretty cool. They brought tons of stuff for all the students. I sent an idea request list and they brought almost everything that was asked for. I saw about 5 of them making burritos today for a snack with some ingredients that my parents had brought for them. They can’t stop raving about how awesome it was that my parents came. I had a great time with them here. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I got to hug my mom and chat with dad on morning walks to get coffee. The first day was Sunday and so we spent the day going to church services and just visiting. On Monday, dad sat in on my class where we watched the Luther film because my professor was out of town. We really enjoyed that---it was pretty intense. I would definitely recommend it. Later on that day, we went to the Indian Market and burned holes in our pockets. We could have looked around there all day if we didn’t get tired…there is so much stuff!!! The next day, we walked to the cliffs, where there is a beautiful and peaceful view of the coast and we could see for miles! It was a fairly clear day  We took a bunch of pictures, did a little chatting and then caught a taxi over to the mall that is constructed down in-between the cliffs. After that we caught another taxi to parque Kennedy and the market and then to Dinner at a Brazilian SteakHouse called Rodizio—it was delicious!!! We ate Big bird—oops, I mean albatross  on Wednesday, Daniel was sick, so he wasn’t able to be the translator…so I had to be…that was definitely interesting. I caught 4 (?) taxies. We went to the Indian ruins, the Indian market, and T.G.I. Fridays for lunch---then we came back home to pack up for their flight home  I was incredibly sad. I’ve never been so homesick in my life. I really missed them. Daniel and I rode with them to the airport and caught a taxi back. So today it was back to normal schedule—chores and sleeping in my own bed  Only 44 days left!! I miss home! Don’t get me wrong, I love it here; but I do really miss home. I’d like to apologize for the disorganization and the horrible grammar in the blog. It’s a lot of time to cover in one blog and I was trying to remember everything. I’ll do my best to get back into the swing of posting several times a week to keep you updated!!

Jungle Fever and the Parents

2009-04-02T18:43:00.006-05:00

JUNGLE Time :)

2009-03-20T06:41:00.002-05:00

March 20th
I'm tired this morning-- I have been tired the last few days, which doesn't make sense, because the last few nights I’ve been going to bed around 8:30 pm. I shouldn’t be tired after this much sleep! BUT every morning, someone’s alarm goes off at 4:30 and then all of my roommates start getting up early. This kind of drives me nuts—I mean---I know they have things to do—but maybe they could better budget their time during the day so they don’t have to wake everyone up so early!? Maybe? Please? Anyway, I have acquired a full-blown head cold. Lots of post nasal drip, congestion, coughing, sneezing, headache and fever. I love being sick, I really do. I’ve become so accustomed to it that I can’t even remember what it’s like not to be sick. Although, my stomach is completely better. I can eat almost anything now. I haven’t had a stomach ache in 3 whole days! This is good---at least I can eat and be sick—before it was be sick and don’t eat. UHG!
Tomorrow morning around 2 am, I’m leaving to catch a flight to Iquitos. Iquitos is in the jungle and I’m pretty excited about getting to see a jungle. I hear it is extremely hot and humid there with lots of fun bugs and piranhas in the Amazon. As far as I know, we are going on a bit of a boat trip on the Amazon river, which is pretty cool. The boats are more like canoes to be honest with you.
Here are a couple pictures and a fun video of some of the tribes along the Amazon River. We will be doing some street ministries with the kids using worship and dramas. I’m honestly not sure what to expect; but I’m excited. Pray that we are able to reach these people for the Lord through music and Drama and simply by sharing the love of Christ. The Bible says that His words do not return void. Also pray for my health as it is easy to catch bacteria in the area that we are going to. I will have to be very careful of what I eat and the clothes that I wear while the mosquitoes are out. Go figure: mosquitoes in Iquitos! Hehe. It rhymes. :P

I don't really think This is what we will be doing or what we will see...but you never know!

Hope you enjoyed!

-Mel

The Rapture---Are you Ready?

2009-03-18T07:30:00.001-05:00

Just a super intense Video about the tribulation times and rapture. Some of it is a bit over done--but God's wrath is not a joke and neither is His grace.

Tech Savvy

2009-03-18T07:07:00.000-05:00

You know me well enough by now. I like the internet and am fascinated in all of the media opportunities that are available on the internet. I recently heard someone say that the amount of information exchanged on the internet each day far exceeds the entire history of man. Wow! What a tool we have in our hands! Unfortunately it’s used for a lot of things are completely unwholesome—but there are so many ways to use the internet to bring Glory to God and to share the gospel. For example—I personally like to write—which means that one day, I’d love to publish books…the issue is money—but most of all time. It’s easy to type out a devotional or a short little update about my life with pictures and that sort of media from my own home—sometimes before I even get out of bed… Who wants to go down to the local studio or publishing company and pay big bucks to get something that you can do in your own home?! Well, I’m really not THAT technology savvy, but I do like to play around with it and try new things out. I recently joined an online small group with Christ Fellowship. It was pretty sweet actually. They did a live broadcast from A pastor’s house and had a live chat room next to the broadcasting window. I thought that was pretty neat. So I checked out the website and it turns out that you can get a free broadcasting account with these people and actually have a fairly decent range of options and you can do some perty nifty stuff on this thing. I’ve always wanted to do a video blog---but I think I’ll have to wait until I get home to get everything started. Yeah, I signed up for one—just to kind of play around with it.
Anyway, since this is indeed my medical journal, perhaps I can update you a little bit. The last couple days, my stomach has been feeling better and so I’ve started eating again—but only small portions and very mild things (i.e. nor fruits, veggies or milk products per Dr. Parra.) but my stomach has been taking these basic things alright. I still hate the idea of eating food. I’ve just gotten so used to not eating..but I’m kind of getting desperate for something that tastes good now. But my tiredness and weakness is still a bit of an issue. It’s literally like somebody randomly pulls the plug on my energy and it all just goes down the drain and then suddenly I’m so weak I can’t stand up or stay awake—weird, annoying, UHG! But I was up all night last night with a sore throat and a headache—and now I’m congested. Can’t wait to see what other Amazon diseases I’ll be picking up next week while I’m in the jungle. Woohoo! *sarcasm*
Well, breakfast is about to be called and I have to take my meds before I eat….that takes a while since they taste like nail polish remover!

-Melissa

Benediction

2009-03-16T16:20:00.002-05:00

Just listened to this on my ipod....it's pretty convicting.

Benediction- Kimmy Needham

No one is good not even one

The front pages of papers of children raped by rapist
Iraqi torture chambers and we to blame claim we're blameless
Wrong all
And swelling up inside of us there's this pride in us this arrogance
And our only line of defense is the sense that
Im not as half as bad as this friend of mine so I must be fine
We mean well don't we
Yet I've never seen good intentions set a man free from
Hurt all
This poor unfortunate soul
Filling a single void with toy after toy with girl after boy
How boring this wasn't this meant to be Humanity's life story
Warring with Good saying what have you done for me
Bought all
Hanging out for six hours marred beyond recognition
In complete submission to his father will still
A proclamation was made louder than the loudest temptation
With more beauty than all his creation
More eternal than eternity more angelic than the heavenlies
It Is done for you and bought with blood
Accept
Rejoice
For freedom has come

Spiritually Uphill

2009-03-16T16:15:00.002-05:00

WARNING: BAD GRAMMAR, AND VENTING. Reader discretion advised.

I’m convinced that bipolar is a personality---which is why I’m convinced that I’ve got it woven throughout my DNA. I think everyone has this….it’s something that we can choose to yield to or to surrender to the Lord. At one moment I’m happy and ‘overwhelmed’ by the Lord, and then the next moment—I feel like I’ve been shoved to the ground and there isn’t a way to get up. I just want to be real. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m perfect. I’m going to be honest with what I struggle with---because I’m a human being and I have struggles. I get angry and I get fed up! In fact, right now, that’s exactly how I’m feeling….but in two ways that don’t even make sense to me. Half of me is angry that I’m sick and that I keep missing out---that people continue to look past me because I am too weak. It’s true…I’m too weak to walk from one side of campus to the next sometimes. I hate that! But at the same time….the other half of me is angry that the other half won’t just yield to the Lord and be teachable. I’m angry that the decision is so big and so hard! Why can’t it be easy! I know what I have to do…I know how to do it---- I don’t have an excuse—I guess I just have to learn things the hard way in order to get the point. I’ve always been that way. Although spankings and getting grounded never did anything for me….but this is different. I’m lonely, frustrated, angry, impatient, anxious, desperate…. I can totally keep going. I really wish that there was a little privacy around here so that I could just take care of my problem without anyone knowing there was something wrong. But maybe that’s what I need to be broken of…relying on myself for healing and fixing. It’s not going to work that way!
I’m a puppet to my emotions….it’s true. I wish it wasn’t such a battle---but I’m just struggling with being good enough. Now that I understand grace---now it’s a matter of accepting it and living life freely. I’m a slave to the wrong being. I’m a slave to my flesh and I’m incredibly weak. Temptation stands at the foot of my bed at night and creeps behind me during the day. I wish I had a pair of spiritual blinders. I don’t want you to think that I’m backsliding…because I am not. I’m growing…there are just some things that have been brought to my attention that need to be surrendered and fixed by the only one who can fix me---and that overwhelms me. I wish I was a good person. There isn’t a sin that I’ve been addicted to in the past that I’m not still struggling with…some are easier than others but some just wear my mind and my heart raw to the point where I can’t even fight back anymore. I hate giving up. I want to be strong---but I don’t know how to not give in sometimes. I hate myself sometimes for these things.
I really just needed to vent. I know what my issue is. And it’s up to me to take the first step and to submit it to the Lord. But I forget how to break….i forget how to give it up. I forget how to take the back seat. I really wish I could say that I was a good person. I really do. I don’t know if I will ever be content with the way that my heart has made me. I’ve read all the Bible verses and I’ve hear all the sermons I can take. It’s up to me now. I’ve heard all the good quotes and I’ve been prayed over enough times..that it should be obvious that it’s up to me to SIMPLY yield.
I’m ready to find a field somewhere where the grass is taller than me so I can lay down in the middle of it and cry and scream and say everything that I need to and just be in the presence of God. I have to many distractions—chuck tracks here, projects there, papers to write, clothes to fold, rooms to clean, meetings to attend, classes to listen to, people to please, my heart to maintain, my mask to keep glued to my face….i can’t afford the expensive mask--- only the stuff that melts off quickly. I’m constantly patching it up or forgetting who I’m supposed to be in front of these people and those people. There shouldn’t be a difference who the people are. I should be me. I should be the person that the Lord intended me to be—not whoever I can pretend to be. I want to be that person that serves the Lord with gladness. I want to be changed. Really. I don’t need a talking to. If you can do anything—just pray. No need to even say that you are praying for me. I know you are. This is between me and the Lord now. Thankyou for everything that you’ve said. Really, I needed to hear it. But this can’t be patched with a good verse here and a good verse there. This problem needs to totally be broken down and it will be. I garuntee it. Please don’t worry about me. I’m going to be fine. The Lord just has some major filing to do. He’s got a lot of pieces that he needs to find an put back together for me. I’m wandering around in a dark room---I’m never going to be able to find all the pieces I need. I 'm getting to the point of being ready for that burden that's light and yoke that's easy.

-mel

Nothing is Impossible- oh, maybe.

2009-03-15T22:07:00.002-05:00

Well, I am sitting outside my dorm room right now. I’m waiting for a few songs to download from the iTunes store and then I will be heading off to bed. These last few days have been tiring…although…I am eating a little bit more, but my stomach still totally rejects the idea of food. I got my test results back a couple days ago from the lab and Yesterday morning….I got up SUPER early to make my way to the doctor to sit in line for over an hour waiting to make an appointment… we were unable to make an appointment..they told us to come back after a few hours and just wait to get a turn to see the doctor. The medical business here…is for monkeys….seriously…totally unorganized….they send you to 14 different desks to ask 14 different times to see 1 doctor and then after all that you come to the appointment maker and they tell you that there are no appointments available…lots of nonsense…let me tell you. But anyway…we got in to see the doctor…and I have cancer and malaria….I’m kidding…but we really aren’t 100% sure what I have…since the fecal and blood tests all came back negative. Anything significant was that my white blood cell count was low…which means I have some kind of infection somewhere…but anyway…the doc diagnosed me with a viral infection. There are no medications for this—I just need to wait everything out. But I am on medications for my stomach and possible parasites….this was a good diagnosis for my roommate..since she has parasites…I probably do too which is why I am on meds for it just in case that is what is causing the problem. But now that someone on campus has been diagnosed with parasites…than anyone else with a stomachache (which is basically everyone) gets to go get medicine from the pharmacy to get healed…we paid the 80 bucks for the diagnosis…they paid 5 bucks for the meds…LUCKY! The doc also said that the viral infection would explain all of my weird fainting spells and dizziness and random weakness. He said it could last for a while….and depending on the person it could be gone in a week or it may take months to completely be out of my system. That is why every day and every moment is different and I really don’t know what to expect with this thing. The only thing that is for sure is that I can only eat bread…no goodies…no chocolate—no mac n cheese….no yummy Peruvian food…just pita bread and rice…I’ve tried hard boiled eggs and those seem to do alright…but that’s about it.
The other night, I did have an incredible experience with the Lord. I’ve spent nearly my entire walk with the Lord, just believing and hoping for some kind of understanding or moment that I could mark as life-changing. Well, coming to Peru was obviously life-changing…but the other night…was definitely the biggest moment in my faith thus far. The Lord really used Daniel to teach me about grace. I have lived my entire life thinking that I needed to earn love from people. I knew in my head that I didn’t have to earn God’s love or grace…but I didn’t know in my heart. I have built up so many walls that have kept me from really being loved and used by the Lord. I really wish I could say that I am a truly righteous person and that I am a good Christian—but really, I’m not. It took Daniel about two hours to finally get through to me. He was telling me about grace and I was trying so hard to block him out because everything that he said, I had heard before. Lord, tell me something new. Give me a sign or SOMETHING! The Lord answered my prayer with a story that Daniel told me. He said: Imagine yourself in a court room and God is the judge. He sees all of the things that you’ve done and is ready to pour out his wrath on you—because he is a just God. Justice for my sin is eternal damnation…fiery sulfur in the pit of hell—that’s what I deserve. But just as the gavel is about to smack down on the Slab—GUILTY! Jesus steps in front of me. “Wait father! This one is mine. I”ve done these horrible things. I’m ready to take the punishment. Melissa, you can go.” When Daniel finished telling me this, I was already in tears. This story had totally taken a hold of my heart. Because my imagination is as vivid as it is—I felt like everything was real as he was saying it and it was as if I had just experienced it. It became real to me. Since then, the last two mornings, I have woken up with a new attitude and I really feel as if my heart could explode. I’m ready to hear what the Lord has for me. If this is all that I came to Peru for, then this is enough. Understanding grace and understanding love are the keys to life! God is love..so if we have not love than we have not God and with no God, there is no life!
Lyrics that mean so much more to me know: Matt Redman’s I will love you for the cross:

I will love you for the cross
And I will love you for the cost
Man of sufferings
Bringer of my peace

You came into a world of shame
And paid the price we could not pay
Death that brought me life
Blood that brought me home
Death that brought me life
Blood that brought me home

Chorus:
And I love you for the cross
I'm overwhelmed by the mystery
I love you for the cost
That Jesus you would do this for me

When you were broken, you were beaten,
You were punished, I go free
You were wounded and rejected
In your mercy - I am healed

Jesus Christ the sinners friend
Does this kindness know no bounds
With your precious blood you have purchased me

Oh the mystery of the cross
You were punished you were crushed
But that punishment has become my peace
Yes that punishment has become my peace

Chorus

By your wounds I am healed

For the cross, for the cross, for the cross I thank you
Oh Lord, for the cross, for the cross

This song really speaks to me because every line in this song is so true. If we don’t understand what he did on the cross for us, then what good is our faith. We will be laboring in vain and wearing ourselves out trying to earn something that was bought for us. It’s almost as if I received this gift from a king. I knew what the gift was but I didn’t understand what to do with it. I left it wrapped and then finally—the king comes and unwraps it for me and eliminates my fear. He explains that it is given to me because he loves me. I do not deserve his love, but I have his love. Now it’s just a matter of what I am going to do with it. Am I going to take advantage of his love and grace or am I going to pass this gift on to someone else? The Lord is healing me—mainly my heart because it’s in a million and twenty pieces. He is the great physician and I believe in a great healing. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM!

-melissa

P.S. we have decided to call it the oh maybe disease.... Person: Do you have a parasite? Me: Oh maybe, person: Are you feeling better today? Me: Oh maybe, Person: do you have cancer or malaria? Me: Oh, maybe. HA!

Emergency

2009-03-12T13:38:00.003-05:00

Well, today was interesting. I don’t remember this morning at all. Anything that I don’t remember will be filled in by what others have told me. So, this morning I woke up around 6:30. Of course, it was the bathroom calling that got me up out of bed—but I did have to wake up around that time to make it to another doctor’s appointment today. I had to be at the lab at 7:30 this morning to get some blood taken—I’ve never had this done before and I hate needles so I was pretty much freaking out. Anyway, my roommate is suffering from the same thing that I am…except…I’ve had it for going on six weeks—so we both went to the lab together… she had Darci to hold her hand…I had Daniel  Side note: I’m thinking about changing this blog into my personal medical journal—since that seems to be the theme of just about every blog entry. But I suppose it is in to be reading about other people’s problems…isn’t that what we buy magazines for? This is free. Hehe. Anyway, back to the story. I woke up and my stomach was killing me—I really didn’t want to walk all the way there because I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom if I needed to run—plus I was fasted and really weak since, my food intake over the last month or so has been basically bread and rice—but only sometimes. I can’t really keep anything in my tummy. Another side note: I went to the hospital yesterday to see a stomach specialist. He thinks I have a parasite or something that travelers get where the stomach stops working because it doesn’t know how to adjust to the food and the environment. I spent a few hours there. That was fun. Anyway, So this morning I had to go to the lab to get blood drawn so they could run a bunch of tests. I HATE needles, BTW. Darci got to stay with Rachel, but Daniel wasn’t allowed to stay with me—I think it is up to the nurse that is stealing the blood. Well, when people say it doesn’t hurt—they lie!!! Uhg! That needle was ginormous! It hurt! But I didn’t cry. After she pulled the needle out I felt kind of funny, so I sat there for a minute. Then I got up and walked back out into the lobby. We were about to walk out and that’s when my vision started going. Everything was going black, so I sat down and tried to get myself together…but (from this point on…..the story is told with info that I got from other people) my eyes started rolling and I couldn’t stay awake. So they helped me into a taxi and I kept fainting and what not. When we got back to the school I was helped out of the taxi and to the couch just inside the school. Then it was downhill from there. I was in and out of consciousness. I wasn’t coherent for quite a while. The only thing that I do remember is Daniel snapping at me and telling me to say my ABC’s. I think he went to get me a Gatorade or something. Then Alfredo came over and tried to help Daniel wake me up. After that, Alfredo and Daniel carried me up to my room and when I woke up an hour later…there were a bunch of people standing around me…it kinda freaked me out. I’m not gonna lie. Anyway, now that that is over…. I think I am starting to get my strength back…lots of hydrating and I’m trying to eat—but my stomach is still really sensitive to whatever I eat. But after Thursday when I finish my last test (hopefully) the next Doctor’s visit will tell me what is wrong with me and hopefully he will make me better! Then I will be able to eat again! Yay!
Well, that is my sad story. The funny part is…I love the questions, “how do you feel?” and “what happened this morning?” LOL! I don’t remember what happened this morning and I don’t feel any better…just the same or worse than yesterday! Ha! What an interesting day. I’m not in a bad mood or anything—just tired and weak…okay okay…ready for the line of the day? I’m very sick and tired of being very sick and tired. Anyway…just letting you all in on my life here on campus. It’s basically sleeping and class..then HW and more sleeping and class. BUT my parents and I have been discussing the possibility of them coming down sometime around the end of this month…WHICH WOULD BE AWESOME! Alright…this is enough  Hope you enjoyed eavesdropping on my life :P

Melissa

Right Now

2009-03-12T13:38:00.001-05:00

Well, the last week, my stomach had really started to cooperate; but yesterday, I was bogged down with a headache and fever all day. And now, I have the same stomach problem that I originally had. UHG! If someone would like to ship me a new stomach and pay for its installation, I would greatly appreciate it. I think I’m really learning about patience and being humble though. I just read something one of my required reading text books that really got me thinking. It was talking about Paul and the thorn he had in his side. It stated that Paul begged the Lord to remove it, so that he could go on with his ministry to the gentiles, but the Lord refused to remove it because it kept him humble. My response to this was, well who is to say that this thorn in his side wasn’t a perpetual stomach ache? I hope and pray that this isn’t something that I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. Of course, after nearly a month and a half, it’s starting to feel like I’m going to suffer from this for eternity. Sometimes my reaction is, “Oh Jesus! Take me home to be with you, so that I can have that new body—yeah the one that doesn’t have any problems like what I am struggling with now!” But honestly, what would life be if we didn’t have any troubles or struggles? If there were never any problems, than we wouldn’t need Jesus. This eternal happiness and kingdom of bliss, often referred to as heaven, would no longer be a desire or a hope of mine. Heaven would be where I am now, because I wouldn’t have any problems! Thank God for problems though. They remind us that we are not in control and that we really do need Jesus!
Today I was supposed to go to Ventanilla, my ministry, but my stomach issue today, has again prevented me from going. But it also allows me to catch up on some reading, lots of hw and the writing of a paper that is due next week (yeah-the one I’ve been avoiding all semester—hehe) Anyway, today is a day of homework and blogging and reading and writing—thank God for no arithmetic though :P I hate math—but that is beside the point since this is a BIBLE COLLEGE!
In a couple weeks I am going to Iquitos, Peru. That is a two-hour plane ride North-East of Lima. It’s right in the middle of the jungle to. I’m pretty excited. There are a few students that attend the College that are from Iquitos and have warned us about INTERESTING food selections. LoL. I’m not sure of which I will be partaking, but I sure have to be careful. I just might have to pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to last me the week that I am there.
The last couple nights, Daniel and I have been practicing our Spanish together. We will have our conversations entirely in Spanish, unless I don’t understand—then I interpret them and learn some new vocabulary. I really am doing very well with my Spanish. A couple of weeks ago, I did get very discourages. “Oh, I’m never going to learn this Language!” But at the same time I didn’t give up – that’s a little bit of my JO MARCH coming out.
I think this is a good enough update for now. I really need to get back to my paper writing; but this was a pleasant distraction. Hopefully it will not be the last distraction for today, though. Hehe.

Finally, an Update!

2009-03-12T13:37:00.000-05:00

Well, this first week was full of adventure. I attended all 3! of my classes and I loved them. There is so much great information—I can’t take enough notes! Monday afternoon I went to the Magdalena Market to buy a watch---since I don’t have a cell phone here and I ALWAYS need to know the time. I have a schedule to keep! The chores and rules here are great. They are teaching me a lot about self-discipline and respect for others. I’m learning how to make my bed every day before I even get out of bed. I’m learning to fold my laundry the moment it comes out of the dryer and especially how to manage my time. So, Mom and GM—if you weren’t pleased with my decision to come here before—that is a good reason 
I’m making a lot of friends here. There are only a few students, so we are all pretty close. Not everyone speaks each others languages, but we still pray for each other in our own tongue. It’s great being able to mingle and relate to other people from other cultures. There are students from Germany, England, Peru, Honduras, Columbia and the US here. We really are a very interesting and talented group all here learning about and growing in the Lord and just living life together. There is always a sense of encouragement here. Even if the work load get’s us down—there is always someone around to remind us to cheer up.
You are all asking about Daniel and I. We are doing great. We are still adjusting to the atmosphere—as it is a little different and somewhat stricter than back home. But this is our home for now and we must abide by the rules. We sit across the table from each other every day and have our chats and laughs together. We exchange letters on a daily basis and I have quite the collection already  It has been great having him around to encourage me and point me to the Lord as I continue to adjust to the culture here.
On Saturday, in the morning, John Bonner took the entire student body to two museums. One was for the Spanish inquisition took place—like actual torture chambers! And then to the catacombs located underneath a monestary—we got to see a ridiculous amount of human remains!!! Craziness! It really opened up my eyes to what the true Christians really struggled with. It made me question my own faith in the sense of—if I were to be forced to change my religion or tortured and killed for what I believe, what would be my choice? It’s easy to say—well, yes. Of course I would give my life for Christ—but seeing the methods of torture and murder I almost wondered if I would have been able to endure that along with the earlier Christians. I guess I would have to be in the situation to really know the answer to that, but I would like to think that no matter what, I could stand up for Christ because he stood up for me.
Later on Saturday, I went to the ministry at Ventinilla and Pachakutec. This is an extremely poor area about 45 minutes to an hour away via bus. The bus ride was a little rough—I thought I was going to be sick—but I made it. There were only 5 of us that went to this ministry. We played soccer with the local kids and took lots of pictures. They looooove the camera! The second location is in the foothills. These are basically huge piles of dirt that people live on. The housing there does not have running water or any kind of plumbing. Everyone there lives in a shack—some even without roofs. It is pretty sad, but the people all seem peaceful and happy. The kids are great. We got to roll around in the dirt with them for hours. We took tons of pictures there and taught a Bible lesson. It really opened my eyes up—especially to the idea that I don’t need anything but Jesus to be happy. He is all I need.
Sunday I attended the Spanish service. I don’t understand a whole lot—but I will soon. I get to sing praise in worship in another language and still worship the Lord even though I don’t always understand. Sunday night we have something called believers night. This is a Spanish and English service. Some songs are in Spanish, some are English and the sermon is either translated from Spanish to English or from English to Spanish depending on the speaker and what language they are teaching in. It’s a pretty neat experience to be able to worship with another culture. I like their remixes of all the English tunes—they add in some sweet rhythms and chords.
During believer’s night, I wasn’t really feeling well. So, the moment that it ended I caught a taxi back to the college so I could lie down. I went to sleep early but around midnight I woke up throwing up and sat on the bathroom floor until 11 in the morning. I was throwing my guts up all night with a high fever and all the other horrible stuff that you could imagine that comes with a sickness like that. I don’t know if I caught a virus, got an infection or if I simply ate something that didn’t agree with my stomach. I don’t know that I have ever been that sick in my entire life. But everyone on campus came to check up on me every few minutes and they all wanted to make sure that I was okay. Many of them laid hands on me and prayed for me—even in Spanish (since she doesn’t speak any English). I couldn’t move because I was in so much pain and so incredibly weak. I hogged the bathroom for a good 12 hours and took several naps throughout the day. I didn’t eat anything but I had a decent amount of water. By the end of the day, I was able to walk down stairs to sit at the tables and get some fresh air. I looked like a wreck but I honestly didn’t care. Oh, P.S. you know how I’m always bragging about Daniel? Well, he brought me a rose with a little note. I couldn’t find a vase so I used an empty glass coke bottle as the vase. I’ll post some pictures of it along with all of the other pictures that I’m telling you about.
Today, I’m feeling much better. I ate some bread for breakfast and I drank some sprite zero and a few sips of Gatorade. I’m already caught up from the class that I missed yesterday  but my ipod stopped working today, so, I had one of the tech guys look at it and it’s totally dead. I have no idea why. I haven’t dropped it or anything—it worked fine yesterday, but today it just wouldn’t turn on  Anyway, I’m having a great time here. I’m learning a lot and I’m loving South America.
Please keep my health in your prayers: I’m struggling with lots of stomach issues. I miss all of you and I can’t wait to see all of you again—but I can wait. It is so great here! I love all of you and I’m sorry about not keeping in contact. The internet has not been working since I got to campus, so when it is back up—know that I would love to talk!

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Okay…so 3 weeks later…. We finally have our internet working again. It’s been out for going on 4 weeks now. Although…I have learned a lot while the internet has been out. Since it’s been on—I haven’t had to be on it every single second…which is such a good feeling. I’m not addicted to facebook anymore but I am excited to be able to connect with veryone back home again.
I’m so sorry it has taken so long to get this thing up and running. I miss blogging and hopefully now I will be able to do more often now! Yay ! Well, let’s get to the good stuff. I’m still struggling with some stomach issues..but I don’t think it has anything to do with the flu anymore….P.s. I totally passed the flu on to the rest of this campus…very few people have NOT been infected. BUT, since everyone is having stomach issues—the school decided it would be good to check the water that we are drinking. It is supposed to be safe to drink…BUT the filter was bad and mud was found on the bottom of our water tank….EW!!! So, we all basically have bacterial infections and parasites (Fredrika-for those of you who remember mexico parasites.) So, the talk of the month is of course, poop. That’s really all anyone talks about. Oh, and the fact that our diet consists of rice, fruit, bread, rice, rice, bread, rice, bread, bread, rice and a scoop of fruit. We do have an amazing cook though!
Two weekends ago, all the students were bussed over to an orphanage in chuclacayo(sp). On the first night, we did some babysitting for the two couples that are working on running the orphanage so they could go out on a date night. They had fun and so did we. The next morning, we slept in a little bit, had a delicious breakfast and some worship and devo time. Then—it was time for the slave drivers to get started. We did everything from sorting out the house, scrubbing ceilings and walls, building a sandbox, burning debris, building a garden, and moving huge piles of dirt from one spot to another. We all had great fun—despite the strange bug bites we all received and are still suffering from.
This last week, we had a break from our normal classes. Normally, on Mondays, I take a Romans class, on Wednesdays, I take a Genesis class, on Thursdays, I take a Life of David class, and Tuesdays and Fridays I have off. But this past week we had a guest speaker come in and talk about relationships and passion vs. Purity. He really is amazing. Google Thomas Shockey. This next week is back to normal classes—which means I need to get working on those papers that are coming up. Hehe.
The ministry that I participate in is in ventanilla and pachacutec. These places are about an hour and 15 minute bus ride away. Ventanilla isn’t as poor as the latter but there is a Calvary chapel there. We typically go over to the local park and gather a bunch of kids together and play games for a while. Then we take them over to the church and give a Sunday school lesson. After we are finished at Ventanilla—we head over to Pachacutec which is a another bus ride—but only like 10 minutes. This town is incredibly poor. It is right on the coast on the foothills of the mountains ( basically big piles of dirt.) People live in boxes and shed-like places. Some with make-shift walls and roofs. The children here are so loving. We got off the bus and almost immediately they crept down the foothills and started hanging all over us. It was great. We got to roll around in the dirt with them and then we did a Bible study with them in the orphanage there. Sorry about the horrible grammar. There is just so much to tell and I don’t have too much time to correct this. This one will just have to be a little messy. 
Hmm…what else is there to tell!! Oh So much! I don’t even know where to start! Oh yes, Tomorrow is my birthday and I will officially-----no longer-------be a teenager!! Dang…I feel old now :P I received my birthday box from my mom in the mail two days ago. Lots of sugary goodness, some Cute-durable flip flops and tons of letters from home!! I loved it!!
I’m praying about going to the jungle for ten days at the end of march. Iguitos is a town north east of lima. It’s a 2 hour plane ride away and then a few hour boat ride….lots of crazy bugs, I hear. Anyway, keep me in your prayers and send some letters! I would love to find letters in my mail box. Let me know if you need the address! I would be happy to give it out. Have a great day. Thanks for reading!
-Mel

I'm Here!

2009-03-12T13:36:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately, the last few days, the internet has been down, here in Peru. But fortunately, it is back up—at least for now. My first day was rather rough. I was awake for about 32 hours straight because I couldn’t sleep on the plane. Once I arrived on campus, one of the guys from the school carried my bags up the stairs for me and dropped me off at my room: 33. I’m rooming with one girl that doesn’t speak any English and one bilingual girl. So it is pretty even; but we live in a suite so there are 4 other girls in the room next to us. That means that there is only one toilet and one shower for all 7 of us. (P.S. the toilet almost never works.) We cannot flush toilet paper either. So, we put all dirty toilet paper into a trash can that needs to be emptied once a day.
The first night that I was on campus a group of us went into town. We took a taxi over to a burger king that was about a 15 minute ride away—then we walked over to this sketchy bowling alley where we were going to bowl. (Rumor is: the alley is owned by a gang.)But it was closed because someone forgot to pay rent. So we decided to walk a few blocks over to the cliffs. This is right on the water. Part of the cliff is cut out and an outdoor mall sits nicely right in between the cliffs. After all of this, we walked about half way back to the burger king and caught a taxi back to campus.
The next morning was Sunday. I woke up early and ate breakfast and had some time with the Lord. Then a big group of us walked to church. This church is about a 20 minute walk from the campus and it is totally in Spanish. It was a great message all about the image of God from John’s account in Revelation and Isaiah. On the way home I stopped at the Bodega and Metro (grocery store and super store) to pick up some things like a mirror and some laundry soap. We had tacos for lunch. They were pretty tasty.
This morning I woke up nice and early for breakfast and the morning student devotion. This is where every student shares about what the Lord is doing in their lives twice/semester. A few minutes after that my first class started: a verse by verse study on the book of Romans. The class is 3 ¼ hours long with a 20 minute break in the middle. That is a long class---but we only made it through verse 10 in 3 hours because there is so much information!! It was a really great class. After class we had some lunch-rice and beef and veggies and fresh squeezed fruit juice and fries—yumm!! They aren’t starving us here. And now, I’m sitting in the laundry room on Laundry duty. This is my twice a week chore. It’s not so bad. I basically help people do their laundry and sit here on the computer for three hours twice a week. It’s not so bad.
Hopefully I’ll be able to upload some pictures and such in the next couple of hours. Thanks for reading! I’ll be sure to keep everyone updated as the internet and time allows! Keep the prayers coming!
-Melissa

Adventure to Maine

2009-03-12T13:36:00.001-05:00

Friends & Family,
Our trip to Maine was an adventurous one. One of the most popular questions was, “ Ellen/Melissa, where are we?” Yes, despite the several maps and GPS systems that we have, we still had trouble navigating and staying on track. The biggest oops turn was back in Richmond, VA on the third day of our trip. The GPS system was trying to help us avoid driving on I-95 through Washington, D.C., but it ended up redirecting us up around the Great Lakes, through Canada and back down to Maine. We didn’t realize this until we started seeing signs for cities in Ohio. At that point we figured it would be a good idea to zoom out on the GPS and figure out exactly where it was taking us. We did want to cross the border into Canada at some point on this trip, but not there. This set us back a few hours in our trip which forced us to get caught in a snow storm. I would call it a mild blizzard. At some points there was almost no visibility. The roads were frozen and completely covered in snow. Once we got back to I-95, there were no lane markings. We basically had to make up a lane right down the middle of the highway. We were expecting to get 6 inches of snow in this storm but we only got about 2 inches. Since we were late, instead of driving all the rest of the way to Maine, we stopped in Connecticut at a Super 8 motel.
That night we slept in jeans and sweaters and socks. The next morning we awoke to the aftermath of the storm. The entire car was a block of ice and snow. We had to chip all the ice off with our hands until a nice lady let us borrow her ice scraper. From that point on, as far as we knew, the washer fluid from the car was not spraying---so every few minutes we were forced to pull the car over and scrub down the windows. There were several times that the driver’s visibility was so non-existent that the passenger was directing the driver to the next exit. It was pretty scary at some points----just cousinly bonding, I suppose. That day we drove up to Kittery, Maine and took a few pictures of the coast from someone’s backyard. Then we headed back down south to Boston. We would have driven up through Belfast, Lubec and hit up Canada at some point, but the storm set us back too far. At least we hit Maine!
We made it to Boston that night just before sunset. But the roads were so confusing and parking was so expensive that we just drove around for a bit and headed to our hotel just outside the city. It turned out to be a really nice hotel. We would have slept well if it weren’t for the dinner that we ate that night. Next to the hotel was an “On the Border” Mexican cuisine---it was delicious---but the problem with that was that we really hadn’t eaten much of anything for the previous days in the car, so Mexican probably shouldn’t have been the first thing to hit our tummies. I was alright after a while, but Ellen felt it for a couple days.
The next morning we got up early and headed to Gillette, NJ, which is the town that Ellen’s Aunt and Uncle live in. They gladly welcomed us into their beautiful home, cooked us grilled cheese for lunch and treated us to a beautiful Italian dinner at a nice restaurant. After dinner, Aunt Robin, took Ellen and I back to the house, while Uncle Chic went to a board meeting. We watched the movie Mama Mia! Which was fantastic and then we hit the pillows.
The next morning we also got up early and Aunt Robin dropped us off at the New Jersey transit, Gillette train station, that we took to New York City. Once arriving in NYC, we hit up the first McDonald’s for a quick breakfast before trekking around the city all day.
Our first experience was riding the express elevator all the way to the top of the Empire State building. We took some pictures and headed back down—It was freezing up there! Grand Central Station was next, then Times Square, and Central Park. We got on the subway and headed down all the way downtown to Battery Park and to catch a glimpse of Ground Zero, where the twin towers used to stand. We were getting hungry, so we asked a local to suggest a good place for some NY Pizza. He recommended a place called Picasso’s Pizzeria just down the road. It was yummy---expensive! But yummy! We made our way to the coast and were able to see the Statue of Liberty out in the distance. Then we caught the subway back to times square---snapped a few picture of it as it was getting dark, saw the red stairs and took the subway back to Penn station, where we got on the Southbound train back to Gillette, NJ.
This was the unlucky southbound train. Before we exited the tunnel, the hose between the 5th and 6th cars of the train separated and that immediately locks the brakes, so the train came to a hault……we sat crammed in the train in the dark tunnel for over and hour while we waited for a mechanic to come and fix the hose. Our train breakdown held up every other train coming out of NYC and caused delays up to 50 minutes. This hold-up was actually featured on the news. Some lady behind me on the train had access to the internet and was reading the news online and our train situation was all over the news---warning that all trains leaving NYC should expect delays due to our disabled train. We got back to the house a little over an hour after we had originally expected, but we got home nonetheless.
The next morning we rolled out of bed at a painful 6:45 am, packed our stuff and got on the road again headed for Washington D.C. Traffic was horrendous, so we parked in a garage for about 20 minutes while we walked to the white house, which was beautifully decorated for the inauguration (complete with over 28,000 chairs), and headed back to the car. The bill for 20 minutes parking was a whopping nineteen dollars!!!!!!UHG! Then we proceeded to make our way to the Washington monument. We drove passed that and decided that all the sightseeing we had left wasn’t worth sitting in the traffic for anymore. So, we hit the road. Ellen took a nap and I decided to drive….for almost 11 hours. I was going for 12 hours…but a nap just sounded to inviting. We decided to drive all the way home from Washington D.C. that night instead of stopping in Savannah, GA. We arrived home that next morning around 6:15 A.M. and slept for the rest of the day.
Well, now that that trip is over, I am busy packing up boxes and sticking them in the attic. I’m moving out, basically. I leave on January 30th to go to Peru. So I have that much time to become fluent in another language. Hehe. I’m learning and I can’t wait to be able to communicate with people in more than one language. Well, time for breakfast and next stop…LIMA, PERU!
-Melissa

What's it Gonna Take?

2009-03-12T13:35:00.000-05:00

This morning my alarm started blaring much earlier than I wanted it to. Yes, I had a dentist appointment 45 minutes later, but still—I could have slept all day. Come to think of it, what does it really take to wake me up from spiritual dryness? What kind of alarm has to go off before I actually roll out of bed and touch my feet to the bitterly cold floor of reality? Spirituality and my ‘religion’ should not be fibers that create a bubble separating me from what is real—they should be fibers that form a rope for a game of tug-of-war or one that I can throw over the edge of a cliff to pull someone out—even me. I will say that I am a part of the Christian religion; but unlike other religions—keeping laws and doing good deeds and praying at given times during the day and going to church on Sunday are not my purpose—Although, I do strive to keep these as best as I can. But when I mess up or forget, I do not feel that I have to make it up or do something extra. I do not serve a god that treats me like a slave so he can beat me up every time I make a mistake. I serve a loving God that seeks to free me from my slavery. More than a religion though, I am in a relationship where my God has an unconditional love for me—even though I, His bride, may choose to whore myself to things and ideas and passions that will not satisfy. He still comes to get me—no matter how far gone I may be, He still takes me back.
This idea is fascinates me. I know that when I have done something to hurt or offend someone—they do not come running after me to say, “Come home, I forgive you.” That is what God does. I have this terrible view of God, though. I seem to think that when I’ve messed up, my job is to run away and hide because He will only be angry—just like people. But God is not a person and his personal tendencies are much different than I could ever know or expect because He is a God not of this world, but of love.

iSearch

2009-03-12T13:33:00.000-05:00

In a moment, I will open up my Bible. A moment ago, I watched a video that was promoting a new book about God’s relentless love. The video was that of the author of the book walking along the beach and telling his audience about his view of God’s love and how “crazy” big it is. Well, in my never-ending search to learn more about God’s love—I ordered it. The sad thing is—Why should I have to order a book to tell me about the love of God? Why can’t I always find exactly what I am looking for in the Bible?! Why, when I read the word of God do I search and search and search and still feel like I come up empty? Could it be that maybe I’m looking so hard for something that is right in front of me?
Sadly, I do not have many verses memorized; but I do know John 3:16—which tells me that God loved me so much despite how much of a sinner that I am, that he sent His only son to die for me. He did this because He loved me. Because of this, I have a love that will never die. Because of this, I do not have to worry about tomorrow. Because of this, I do not have to be discouraged when I don’t find what I’m looking for every time I open up the word of God. Yes, I search. I don’t always find what I’m looking for, but no matter how dry of season I feel that I am going through, the Lord always reveals some part of himself to me. Maybe what I’m looking for isn’t what I need to find or isn’t what I need to hear. Who am I to tell God what he needs to show me? Don’t I know that he knows best? Maybe my search needs to be for what the Lord wants to show me and not what I think I need to find.
The understanding of God’s love will not be found in a book, will not be seen at the movies, will not be found in working hard, and will not be found by making lots of money and donating to charities. Money is not love! It takes time to learn about God’s love. It takes time to accept that God can love people like us. We cannot serve both money and God, who will we chose? Having lots of money is not a sin; but boasting in our wealth is most definitely not glorifying to God. I think that time is so much more valuable than money. Not everyone is financially ‘wealthy’; but everyone has a wealth of time. Remember that good works will not save us, good works are because we are saved.

I Choose The Giver

2009-03-12T12:59:00.000-05:00

I often find myself wondering why the Lord doesn’t just send a lightning bolt down to disintegrate my soul. Sometimes I think that even hell would have a hard time putting up with my behavior and wicked thought-life. But why do I do this? Isn’t this what Yahweh sent his only beloved son to die for---my freedom from these ideas and fears? If God had only given me one chance in this life, I would have blown it in my first gasp of air when I entered the world. But before I even knew or cared about second chances….I had millions. I have an infinite amount of chances to trip and fall—and an infinite amount of get-out-of-jail-free cards available to me because My God died for me. My king became a part of His creation that had turned against Him simply to give me as many second chances as I needed. I am not perfect, but I am perfect in the sense that God made me just the way that he intended to—to have weak points and failures and treasures that allow me to exercise my gift/curse of free will—will I choose the gifts or the giver? Will my treasures be stored on earth where moth and rust destroy--- or will they be stored in my heart, heaven and shared through the love that the Lord has given me to share? (Matt. 6:19)
When I do come across these week points, do I turn and run in fear because I know that I will fail or do I look to the one who I know will rescue me, even if I choose not to trust Him? But why is it necessary that this question arise? If I know that He has all things under His command, If I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, If I know that He will catch me when I fall—then why don’t I just trust him. Is it a lack of belief or is it pride? Either way, I deny that he is capable of doing something significant. Even in the small things—I tend to think that I don’t need Him. No matter what it is, I need to trust in the Lord. Because if I am as confident as I claim to be, then why do I nail Him back on the cross every day? It’s as if to say that he might as well still be in the grave—if I think I can do this on my own. . . No, I don’t wake up every morning and declare to God that I don’t need him, although, sometimes, I might as well. Instead I should make the point to wake up and declare that I need Him. Maybe if I woke up on the right note every morning, my day would cadence nicely in the chorus of His love and grace.

An Update For Those of You That Wonder What is Going On In My Life

2009-03-11T20:11:00.000-05:00

I know that it usually takes forever to get an update from me about what is going on in my life. Since August, I have been the Music & Worship Intern at First Baptist Church of West Palm Beach. I started working there just as the Singing Christmas Tree preparation was getting underway. As tedious and challenging as all this work has been, I would not trade it for anything. The performances were all great and we had the chance to minister to over 11,000 people with the show this year. If I am not mistaken, that was the highest attendence in First Baptist's history.
Before the Singing Christmas tree rehearsals started in October, I really didn't know anyone. I was fairly new to the church. But working behind the scenes and with the choir members, actors, and dancers, I was able to meet so many incredible people. I really do have a church family that I can truly call my family. I can count on them when I need prayer, or advice, or simply a shoulder. When I am out sick, I recieve phone calls and text messages from pastors and collegues just wishing me well and making sure that I am doing alright. I could never ask for more from a church home.
As Palm Beach Atlantic University's semester came to a close, I notified professors and my pastors that I would not be returning next semester. My time at PBAU has been a time of growth, especially in my heart. Over the past few months I have really had the opportunity to discover who I am, and the Lord has brought an immense amount of healing to my heart.
Since August, I have been talking to a guy that I met at Christ Fellowship a year or so ago. We spent months learning about each other via skype and letters and e-mails. He has been in peru for four months at a Bible college and involved in missions with local outreaches in Lima. He returned to the States in early December, and yes, we are now in a relationship as you can see by my facebook status. :) Our desire is to have a relationship that is centered around the Lord. So far, so good. The Lord continues to bless us. I am truly grateful for Daniel being a part of my life.
Well, I do have a reason for not returning to PBAU and my internship next semester. I will be leaving for Calvary Chapel Bible College in Lima, Peru at the end of January. The Lord has given me this opportunity to go, so I am! I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do. I am taking a lot of risks, and I am nervous because this is very much outside of my comfort zone; but I am very excited and encouraged because I know that the Lord has great things planned for me.
I am not perfect and I am no different from anyone else. I am just answering the Lord's call in my life. He has closed many doors in the past, but he has opened so many more. I am excited to serve the Lord, bring the message of Jesus Christ to the lonely and hurting in South America; and I am thrilled to meet others that feel the same way when I arrive on campus. I have recently been in contact with one of the girls that will also be attending next semester--she has been throwing a few tips in my direction. (Thanks Holly! :)
I have a website that I will be using to keep friends and family updated on my travels, ministries and life. I will do my best to keep that up-to-date. But seeing as how I don't know exactly what to expect time-wise, we will see how that all works out :)
Please keep my in your prayers, but mostly pray for the People in South America that the Lord will prepare thier hearts to here of the love and message of Jesus Christ!

-Melissa