There and Back Again

These are for you, Mom. Happy Birthday. I love you.

This is my get-up: my world -saving, hero-maker, transformer-
Submarine, mustang convertable, Airforce One cruiser.

^ And this is what the floor of MY car currently looks like.


     What a week. I’m incredibly stressed. I think college deadlines are much more appealing than looking aimlessly for a job and having a car that’s been broken into, undriveable (due to a shattered window) and a purse that for all I know is in the hands of a terrorist with all of my credit cards, my passport, my social security card and my health insurance card, OH! And my block buster card : ( I’m broke, and I have no way to access my account and I have to wait 7-10 business days to receive all of my new cards. My car needs a new window, so I am barrowing my grandmother’s--- Lincoln—YAY! Such an adolescent beast! I’m grateful for a car to drive, but I like to imagine I’m driving a hot new red mustang convertible down the street instead of a 98 Ford Lincoln. Maybe if it were secretly a transformer that turned me into some world-saving hero it would be a little more exciting. It does what it is supposed to do anyway. Thanks GM. 
  Today is my mother’s birthday. I think it is fascinating that the world knows it and sets off fire-works every year in her honor. I wish my birthday was on the fourth of July. Last night we all had a giant sleep-over at my parent’s house: The entire family, plus me, Martin and Daniel. It’s nice to have a big house where everyone plus a few guests can fit comfortably. My parents hired Daniel and Martin to do some yard work, so after the long day yesterday, they just slept over so they could get up this morning and get back to work. It was nice, we all got “free” food. Okay economics majors I get it, TINSTAAFL. But, it was free for me, except that I had to butter the bread, cut the squash and zucchini and clean up…it was still cash free! Thanks ma and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 
  Today call time for rehearsal is 4:30. We have a big fourth of July concert tonight at Chapel by the Lake, I’m pretty excited about that. I don’t know that I have much else to blab about, but I hope that this was update enough. 

                 Two nights ago, I went to over to my parents house to hang out after finding out that I wouldn’t be able to see the movie that we had planned to see that night. My parents were sitting at the table, I was sitting on the floor by the sliding glass door holding one of the cats. My sister walked in the door with Martin a few minutes after I arrived and we were all being ridiculous as usual. My mom walked out of the room and a few minutes later walked back with her purse and asked if I was ready to go. “Ready to go? Go where?” I asked. “Oh no where.” She finally told me that we were going to go see The Proposal after she initially wouldn’t tell me. Well, the movie was hilarious and super great. My mom, my sister and I were probably the loudest people in the entire theater—what can I say---it was funny! Anyway, right before the movie started my mom got a text/phone call saying that my dad and Martin were going to see transformers again and that my little brother and sister would be seeing a different movie. So everyone was there---just in three different theaters---very amusing. After the movie, my mom put in the Kelly Clarkson CD and its rockin’ and so was my mom---she was playing the air drums and at one point we were coming up to a red light and my sister is like, “Mom, hands on the wheel!” And my mom’s response was, “I have to finish drumming!” We were all dancing and making fools of ourselves and being loud. I’m sure we were creeping out the neighboring drivers—WHAT GREAT FUN!
        Last night, went on a coffee date with Nicole. We both ordered our Vanilla Chai tea Lattes : ) Mmmmm. We chatted for a good 45 minutes about our lives and our boys, you know the typical girl stuff. Then we got into talking about the things that we are struggling with and what we need prayer for. It really was a time of encouragement. I always have a hard time waiting for the next time I’ll get to hang out with Nicole. She always makes me day :) 
          Since last Friday, Ellen and I have been working out. We usually go to her house to lift weights or when it is more convenient we meet at my house and do some conditioning/running. It’s been great. I’m already feeling a lot better and healthier. We started talking about the possibility of running in a 5k or two before she leaves for 11 months starting in January. It’s going to be fun, I’m excited. 
            Last night, I went to bed really discouraged, but this morning I woke up and prayed that the Lord would take my attitude and fix it for me and that he would just encourage me throughout the day. Well, he did. I made lunch and took it over to Wellington Christian for Daniel. He was working there for a few hours today so, we ate together and that was really nice. We had turkey and cheese sandwiches and some Sandies cookies. Afterwards I drove around for a little bit looking for a job. I drove through two or three plazas and didn’t see anything and then I went over to Kobosko’s Plaza where the Greenberries used to be. There is another coffee shop in there that is really nice. I walked around the plaza and went into all the places that would interest me and collected some business cards. One of the shops there was a bridal Salon, so I went in and looked around at the dresses, which were beautiful if I might add! My last stop was the coffee shop, I got a business card and just as I was heading out, I ran into a lady that taught me how to ride a donkey last December for the Singing Christmas tree. We sat there talking for a while and it was great to see her again! Just before she left she handed me a check for a really large amount of money----I wasn’t expecting it and I was really blown away. That was a real blessing and just another sign that the Lord is watching over me. I had some nice face to face conversations with some employers today, so I think I have a shot at some more job opportunities. Today was a good day---and I haven’t even been to choir rehearsal or ultimate Frisbee at Meyer Amphitheater yet!!! Wow! What a great day!
    When you ask God to encourage you, you better believe that he's gonna do it and blow you out of the water. People are not always very good at it, but God sure is! Thank God he uses people like us!

                                  Well, here is the story for all of you nosy people out there—I suppose I am a blogger, so the point of having a blog is to make people nosy about what is going on in my life. Anyway, A couple of years ago, I attended Christ Fellowship Church in Royal Palm and on occasion I sang BGV’s for the middle-school and high-school services. Even during my first semester of College, I was still very attached to the high-school service on Wednesday nights, So I continued to attend. On one of the last nights I attended, I met the new intern, Daniel Sadowski. He was very friendly and loved to write. During service, I was sitting off to the side, working on a paper that I had to turn in the next day for my English Composition Class at PBAU. He and I sat around joking for a while and when I left, I said goodbye, thinking I would probably never see him again. But he knew that I was already dating someone so he backed off. We said Hello to each other every once in a while when we passed in the hallways at church, but we didn’t really keep in touch. Facebook and Myspace, assisted in our connection. We became friends online, but still really didn’t speak. About 1 ½ years later, he started chatting with my online and told me about the fact that he was going to Peru for a semester. I thought it was neat, but I didn’t really think too much about it. You know, whatever—just another guy from church that wants to serve in ministry, “yeah, right.” So, I still tried to ignore him, but once he arrived in Peru, we started talking on almost a daily basis and by September 13th we had expressed our feelings to each other. 
                          Before talking with Daniel, I didn’t really have a daily devotion set in place, and my heart was really struggling from some unfortunate events that took place in my previous relationship. While talking with Daniel, I noticed that all he wanted to talk about was God. This really annoyed me at first because, I knew that my heart was not right with God, and it really made me feel inadequate and uncomfortable. But I always came out encouraged at the end of the conversation. So, since he was always going to share, I started reading my Bible because I wanted to have something to share. Soon this became almost everything that we talked about and I couldn’t wait to finally meet him again. I had to wait until December 6th, 2008. The first time I saw him was actually on December 8th, we met at a park and he brought some Publix subs. We immediately clicked, it was a little awkward at first, but we both came around. 
We spent the winter break getting to know each other and reading our Bibles together. The next semester we would both be attending the Bible College in Peru, which I must say, felt the like 5 years of getting to know each other concentrated into 4 months. We lived about 30 feet away from each other. We were forced to see each other on our best days and worst days and to set an example to all the other students on campus for what a relationship should look like (since relationships were not encouraged on campus.) We did a great job and were commended by our pastor at the end of the semester. By the end of the semester we were really talking about marriage and starting a family. Well, we were serious. 
                               On June 25th, 2009, Daniel took me on a secret date. I thought we were going to the beach, but it turned out to be the Jupiter light house. We went on the tour and climbed up to the top. When we got there, it was only the two of us. *side note* Daniel wears a pair of dog tags on a necklace. One has information about his epilepsy in case of an emergency and the other one has the Bible reference for the armor of God. I am always fixing them. Well, once we got up to the top of the lighthouse, he walked over and asked me if I could fix his dog tags for him and I was about to tuck them down in his shirt when I saw the ring on the chain. I didn’t know what to say and he brought up the Bible verse about Jesus being the light of the World, told me that he loved me very much and that I was his best friend and sister. Then he got down on one knee and proposed. I told him that “I am more confident about this then anything else in the world. Yes, I’ll marry you.” We prayed and started our walk back down the stairs. Did I mention that he is terrified of heights?! He was backed up against the wall at the top and I’m like leaning over the edge looking at everything! Hehe. He is so brave : ) That night we went to eat at Bimini Twist, a fancy Sea food restaurant on Okeechobee. We dressed up. It was very nice : )
             We have not set a date yet. We are hoping sometime in November or December. Right now, we are both trying to save some money. He works part-time at Panera Bread. He hasn’t been getting many hours, but some is better than nothing! I currently am unemployed. I’m looking for a job, but nothing has come up yet. There you have it : )

I realized today, that I am a horrible person. I guess there are things that I do on a habitual basis that really aren’t very nice—I offended someone today—not exactly intending to be rude, but I really felt incredibly sorry, downright atrocious when it was pointed out to me. I was rather put-out and mortified—‘Am I really this awfully inconsiderate?’ Wow. I really need to get myself in order. I’m pretty selfish---good thing I’m realizing that before I get married—I mean, it’s only going to inflate it’s palpableness when I tie the knot. Sad day---I mean, I want it to be happy, but I’m afraid of realizing even more, how horrific a person I could be. Daniel, I don’t know how you do it. Honestly, when I think about the way that you love me, all I can do is compare it to God’s love for me. It’s been made more than plainly seen that I need an attitude adjustment on a moment to moment basis. I can insult you as much as my selfish heart will let me to try to make you not love me---I only want to be sure( this is so sub-conscious! I hate it!) ---yet all you can say, is, “I don’t care what you think. You don’t have to understand why I love you. It won’t change anything. Just accept it. I love you, Melissa Stimely, just the way that you are!” That always blows me away. It has given me a more personal understanding of how God loves me. Thank you. I hope that one day, it will be easy for me to show you that kind of love too. Daniel, I’m sorry, but it’s going to be a challenge. I promise to try my best, but I promise that I’ll mess up too. Kyle, I’m sorry that I’m a jerk. Please, forgive me for being so harshly rude and bad-mannered. 
  I’m not even totally sure about what else to put into this post except about my current ideas and plans for my future… which are pretty much out there.
1. Getting married—not sure when, but soon. A lot of things need to happen before then. 
2. Career—not sure what but here are some ideas—I have always wanted to act---so I’m working on some research for that direction. I love to write and I’ve been working on a book since I was around 12 and now I’m’ just working on developing an actual plot, developing characters and creating an actual story that has some point and function to it. It’s going to take some time—but that is definitely something that is going to come about before I die of old age (since I have determined that is what I’ll die from—since it won’t be a vampire bite—yes, I’ve been sucked into the twilight saga : ) ) Anyway, those are some of the immediate plans.
  OH! I got an email from my employer (?) the other day, laying me off. They don’t have room for me anymore—so I need some sort of job—because I’m technically broke and the last thing I need is debt because I’m not competent enough to provide for myself—that’s the last thing I need against me if I want to be getting married soon. Wow, Prayer anyone? 
  When I get home, I have lots of work to do. It’s hard to accomplish things and research when there is almost never internet on the road in ALASKA. It’s amazingly beautiful up here and I’ve been really inspired this entire month. I am excited to get home. Everyone hates me, I’m sure of it. Especially my senior citizen, my head on a silver platter would probably be his death-bed wish. Like I said—I’m just that horrible. Any takers?

The extremely negative and annoyed blogger,
Mel

            I have been in Alaska for a week now. I’ve been having a great time. We have been able to see so many amazingly beautiful sights. During our almost daily driving sessions, every five minutes someone yells and points, “Wow! Look at that! Isn’t that beautiful, wow!” The mountains here are huge and colorful! The Rivers and streams are in abundance. Every few miles we will stop just to get out and look and to take pictures. We have even stopped to refill a couple of water bottles in the streams too! It is so beautiful here. I can’t even express. Even all of the pictures that I could share would never come close to the amazing splendor of the Alaskan mountains. 

           The first day, we flew into Anchorage. My first day lasted from 6 am Thursday morning until 10:30 Friday night. Which is 18 hours plus 22.5 and plus 4 hours ( to make of for the time difference) which equals 44.5 hours. I was pretty tired and I still am. I really haven’t quite caught up on sleep yet, but I’m getting there with a little nap here and there. Anyway, we flew into anchorage and waited for our ride over to the Great Alaskan Holidays Rental place, where we watched a 30 minute video on how to manage and maintain the RV that we rented. We drove off the campus in an E-Series Winnebago Chalet. It’s really nice—it has two slide-outs, with 6 beds, yet only 4 people are on board. I sleep in the huge bed just above the cabin. It’s pretty comfortable, at least while I am able to sleep. It’s especially a great place to sleep while the camper is actually moving. It basically rocks me to sleep. We drove off the campus in Anchorage and finished at a parking lot on the side of the road that supposedly had an amazing view of Mt. McKinley in Denali State Park. We thought we were seeing it, but were quickly corrected two days later when we actually saw it. Woah---it’s HUGE! 
         The second day we had a short drive to Denali national Park where we camped at a beautiful campsite- “Savage river.” We stayed there for two nights. The next morning we caught a bus that drove 66 miles into the national park. It was about an 8 hour bus ride. We saw all sorts of wild-life and amazing mountains. My favorite sight was the Polychrome pass. It was so incredibly beautiful! Then, once we went back to the RV, we went for a walk down a path just behind the park and we saw three grizzlies right there in the wild! --- a Mommy and her two cubs! 
           The next day, we drove to Fairbanks and North Pole, where it is ALWAYS Christmas : ) The street poles were decorated like candy canes and Santa was everywhere! We stayed at a resort RV park, no hook-ups of course, but there was a Natural hot spring there where we got to swim and relax for a couple of hours. The moose came right up to the water! We had been hoping to finally see a moose the entire trip and finally got to see them! It was really nice to be able to take a shower after that. At this point, we hadn’t showered in almost 5 days! Whew! About time! 
            From the Chena lakes hot springs resort, we drove about another 160 miles and stayed at the Chena Lakes park. We did a little bit of GeoCaching and kayaking. Now, we are in Valdez, Alaska. Not pronounced Valdehz it’s Valdeez if you please! Yesterday we drove through Thomson’s pass down Richardson highway—wow. Just wow… The mountains and the iced over lakes were beautiful. I don’t know that I will ever see anything as beautiful again as I have on this trip. Seriously, if you have never been to Alaska, at some point in your life, you need to plan to come here and see all this amazing stuff!
                Yesterday, we went on a 9-hour boat ride on the LuLu Belle out and around Price William Sound out past Glacier Island and back around to the Columbia Glacier. This was incredibly cool. We got to see humpback whales, Orca whales, Seals, Sea Lions, Sea otters…Definitely cool. It was very very cold out by those Glaciers and Icebergs. Today was just kind of a hang out day. We slept in, went for a walk and grocery shopping, did some more geocaching took a long nap, and ate a delicious beef and potato dinner. Sally is a great cook. Thanks Sal! Tomorrow, we are going to go the Valdez Museum to learn more about all the history here. We may even make it over Sugar and Spice, a little place down the road that has a video of the earthquake that happened here in the sixties. It destroyed the entire city and forced the city to relocate, at least those that survived. A 9.2 earthquake shook for 4 solid minutes and forced a tsunami in through the harbor and landed barges in the middle of the town. There wasn’t much left after that. But it was caught on video by a mariner. CRAZY stuff! We still have a week and a half left. I’ excited about driving back through Thompson pass again. That is going to be beautiful! Hopefully there won’t be any clouds this time. It would be nice to see it all. Next trip we have decided to climb mountains and glaciers. We just need warmer jackets and some rope---we seemed to have left those back in Florida. 
  It’s stressful living so close to people for so long, but it is working out nicely and we are having a great time. 

 

         Well, I know that I haven't posted much of anything in the last month or so. The last couple weeks of the semester were very busy and full of writing papers, sitting through six hours of classes a  day and studying for impossible-to-pass  exams, of which I successfully aced all. Okay, so the one that was really impossible was the Genesis exam...i got a C on that one...but I successfully aced all of my classes. It was a very good semester and I was very sad to leave knowing that I probably wouldn't be back there for some time. This is the picture of the day. People have been begging me for ages to get a new profile picture..I’ve pretty much had the same exact one on facebook for about 7 months now….maybe a little bit longer; but anyway. I took this one today and I love to edit photos…I especially take pride in my unique talent over overly editing photographs…I love this! I could do this all day! I only wish that I could actually afford the equipment to improve my photography skills and to actually have a studio so I can take pictures for other people. A studio would be so much fun! I would turn it into my own personal cave—kinda like batman…and I’d live there editing pictures for the rest of my life….I would probably need a few extra trips to the eye doctor considering that glaring into a computer screen all day is the furthest thing from healthy. But that’s what technology does to you these days, I guess.
  Anyway…now that I’ve been home for going on three weeks…I have successfully acquired three sunburns, a great tan, a surf board, and a butt load of stress that I can’t figure out where to dump off. I don’t even have a job yet---I really haven’t been looking for one though because I am leaving for Alaska for two and a half weeks starting this Friday! I’m pretty darn excited. I’ve also started a VLOG show with my cousin. It’s called the LN and Mo show (since she has called me MO since I don’t even know when.) We sat around the other night being totally ridiculous which is precisely how we are when we get around each other….i’m actually going to Alaska with her…this is really going to be interesting. You know, I’ve just realized that I’m a pretty major traveler…and I love it. Within the last 6 months, I’ve visited every east coast state, lived in Peru for 4 months and spent two and a half weeks in Alaska…and by the end of the year, I hope to visit the cayman islands as well. 
  I usually give my entries a title after I have finished typing them out, but, this one is going to be rather complicated, considering that I’ve included just about every topic I can think of right now. Anyway, here is a video that Ellen and I made the other night. I hope you laugh at our foolishness! Enjoy! :)

          I’ve have really been living in a spirit of fear lately. My soul has not been at peace and today I can literally feel my soul tremble. I know that this is NOT from God. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but on this campus—everyone is obsessed with the end times and they all think that if not today…then tomorrow. Jesus is calling us home! But every single time someone mentions that—I grow uncomfortable and angry with God. I get afraid and selfish. I want to get married and have a family and accomplish all of these things before the Lord comes back. It’s not fair that I won’t be able to experience life. –And I shake my fist at God….but the very next moment I become ashamed of myself. I can’t stand the thought of God accepting me the way that I am: angry, selfish, foolish, unorganized, lazy, and disobedient. “God! Just let me be! I’ll fix myself and then you can have me!” but NO! That’s not how it’s supposed to be! This morning someone spoke up in class and told everyone that an angel had appeared to one of her friends yesterday and said these words: “The lips of the Lord are on His trumpet.” This totally freaked me out and this is what really started my soul atrembling.
 Over the last couple of weeks, I have avoided reading my Bible and praying because I was busy and because I didn’t think God was big enough to take care of my problems. He’s not worthy enough for me to approach him for a few minutes each day. His death on the cross is nothing to me. –not really; but this has been my attitude the last couple of weeks and I have broken God’s heart---now that I have realized this, my heart is broken to and now I am broken at his feet, trembling in fear and begging him to take me back and to take away my fear. 
  Last night, I had the room to myself. Both of my roommates slept somewhere else. This was perfect timing because I really needed time with the Lord. So I sat up in my bed for like an hour just praying out loud. So, this afternoon, I have laundry duty…which is really great…because, I basically get to sit outside and do homework or read and get things accomplished while I’m working in the Laundry room. So, right now, as I’m watching the laundry room, I’m also doing some reading and having a devotional time with the Lord. Like I said, my spirit is not at ease and I am physically trembling at this point because of my fear. So I sat down to journal:
          Lord, my heart is not at ease. I feel greatly oppressed and I don’t want Satan to ever take the victory over my attitude again. I want you to have the victory. Lord, my soul is nearly trembling right now. I’m so fearful and I don’t know why. Lord, speak to me and comfort me concerning this.
         Well, he did. And it was amazing. The first verse is especially incredible. God spoke directly to me through 3 specific verses that covered everything that I’ve been afraid of over the past few weeks: the swine flu, the end of the world, the nightmares that I’ve been struggling with, etc. it perfectly listed all of those things out and said that they would not touch me. PSALM 91: 5-7 (8):
 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
and a thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
When I read this, I was like woah! I spent over an hour last night in prayer asking for God to speak to me – and he did. He spoke directly to my need. The Bible says that God is called the great I AM. This means that God will become what we need. Anything that we need—God can become this and provide it. He is all that I need! This was probably the moment in my life, thus far, where I have truly felt the presence of God. It was through reading these verses. The next verse that I read was ISAIAH 41: 10-14:
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Behold, all who are incensed against you
shall be put to shame and confounded;
those who strive against you
shall be as nothing and shall perish.
 You shall seek those who contend with you,
but you shall not find them;
 those who war against you
shall be as nothing at all.
For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”
 Fear not, you g worm Jacob,
you men of Israel!
I am the one who helps you, declares the Lord;
your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.

This makes me think of the verse in Romans 8:31: If God is for me, who can be against me? How much stronger of a God can I ask for? No other God loves me. As far as I know, every other God on earth is out there to condemn and to Judge every one that follows him. My God is not. I do not have a set of laws that I need to perfectly keep all the days of my life. Yes, I have rules and I fail to obey them a lot of the time---I want to keep these rules, but sometimes I fall and I allow for the desires of my flesh to take over. This is how I know that I need the grace of the Lord. Because I’m not going to measure up! Because I’m not good enough—I need the Lord! Romans 3:23: For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I’m a sinner and I need Jesus! The coolest thing is that Jesus doesn’t want us to be perfect! He wants us to rely on him! Matthew 9:12 says: It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick… For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners! Whoever says that God could not accept them because of what they have done has the absolute wrong idea of who God has called. He has called the unworthy! Why? Because the worthy are too proud of their accomplishment of worthiness! But the unworthy are humbled and vulnerable because they know that they are nothing. The next step is just realizing that our unworthiness joined with God’s worthiness equals completely worthy! How cool is our God!? 
                The next verse that I read was 1 John 4: 15-18: If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
                God IS love. He doesn’t just give love—he is the source of love because that’s what he is. What else could possibly motivate him to bless us the way that he does and give mercy to us on a moment to moment basis like he does? What more can I ask for than a God who IS the very essence and being of love?! He is Love! So, because of this, I have no fear. Every good thing comes from God and just like The passage from Psalms says, none of these plagues or bad things will touch me. If they do—it is not because he is judging me, I am His child, he does not condemn me because of the things that I do, I am under grace! But I am also a living sacrifice. If something bad happens to me, then it is God’s will that I continue to live according to his word and to continue trusting in Him. Others are watching, So even when bad things do happen, I need to be careful that I do not react to it out of my flesh, because if I do—my testimony will be ruined. 2 Corinthians 7:4 says: In all of my troubles, my joy knows no bounds. “Woah, wait a minute!” You say. “I’m supposed to be joyful to the point where I could explode?-----when I’m going through hard times?” YES! This is all through the strength that the Lord gives us. Romans 5:5: And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love in our hearts by the holy spirit whom he has given us.  Why am I joyful, even in times of Trouble? Because no matter what, I have a hope that will never let me down. My God will never leave me or forsake me! I’m going to heaven baby! 
                   Finally, 2 Timothy 1:7: For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline! This is so cool---my fear is not given to me by the Lord. And if I have fear, I still have access to God’s power through the holy spirit! Did you hear that? I HAVE ACCESS TO THE POWER OF GOD! 1Corinthians 2: 10-15: but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment.
I have access to the mind of God because the same spirit that searches the deep things of God, lives within me! HOLY MOLY!!! How incredibly cool is that?!
God is good. I do not need to be afraid. I am loved. The Lord gives me Joy. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted. He comforts me. He speaks to me. He hears my cry. What else do I need? Nothing! The coolest thing about this entire entry is that the Lord was inspiring me and speaking to me as I was writing it. We do not need visible signs. We need God to speak to us. I have never really felt God speaking to me before. But recently someone told me just to ask for God to speak to me and he will. Well, seriously try it. Sadly, this is the first time I have ever tried it. Gladly, it won’t be the last. I just asked the Lord to hear my prayers and to speak to me and he totally did!! Really, I am in awe of the Lord right now. I hope that this will bless you, just as it blessed me to write this. Bless the Lord, Oh my soul and all that is within me! Praise his holy name! (Psalm 103:1) God is so Good! 

-Mel